Living the life I love..... and loving the life I live

Christmas Two

2012-01-20T03:36:00.000-08:00

Oh my oh my! How have I neglected my little blog so? I've been forgetting to put my newsletter on. Anyhoo.... here's the latest......

Shucks but these weeks fly by! I feel like a hamster on a treadmill (or whatever that thingy is in their cage)

So, as I mentioned last week, I've done another Christmas page - although sans pictures (I had more Moscow Mules than turkey on Christmas day so there is something of a dearth of pics) I used:
1 x {15 x 20} landscape
1 x jumbo portrait
1 x {2up} landscape
2 x {4up} landscape
1 x (4up} portrait.
The girls who've seen the page already were rather rude about my little title which I admit you need a microscope to see, still, I like it. Feel free to put a gaudy big fat title on your page is you feel so inclined.
And don't worry, I'm kind of over this paper piecing lark for now after that rush of blood to my head.

For you Cardies - don't forget our first card class of 2012 next Thursday 26th at 17:30 right here at SBJ. Feel free to bring a tipple of wine if you like.

Do any of you own a Carl Trimmer? If so, I uncovered a stash of replacement blades when I was spring-cleaning and I'm offering them @ R25.00 instead of R64.00.

I'm off to buy albums, glue, paper blah blah on Monday so let me know if there is anything you particularly need.

I'm afraid I won't be able to do scrapbooking classes on a Tuesday mornings anymore but am happy to do a Monday if that's the only day you can make. So therefore classes will be Monday / Wednesday / Thursday and evenings on demand.

I do hope the following example of Two Sides to Every Story doesn't offend anyone (bit rough in parts) but I confess to a little chuckle.

WOMEN - Two female friends are catching up:

So, how was your evening last night?

A disaster! After getting home, my dear beloved hubby wolfed down in 4 minutes the dinner that took me all afternoon to prepare, "granted" me 3 minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep 2 minutes later. And you?

Oh, mine was incredible. My hubby was waiting for me to get back home from work. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing stary sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit up all the candles and we had foreplay which lasted for an hour. We then make love for another hour and then we chatted until late. It was wonderful....

MEN - Meanwhile, at the pub, the husbands are "networking"

So, how was your evening last night?

Great! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shagged and I fell asleep.
You?

A nightmare! I came home earlier to fix the kitchen shelf. When I switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness. Couldn't find the bloody fuse box, so when my better half arrived, I took her out. It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an ear-full. The dinner was so expensive that I couldn't afford the taxi back home, so we had to walk home. Once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f..king canles to avoid knocking everything down. I was so wound up that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another one to finish. In the end, I was so pissed off that it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing.

Take care and hope to see you scrapping some time soon.
Alison xxx

Len's {Big} Party

2011-08-31T04:50:00.000-07:00

Hi Gals

I’m afraid that this week’s page – Len’s {Big} Party - turned out absolutely nothing like it was in my head! I’d have to say I’m somewhat disappointed with it.
Still, I didn’t have a chance to do another page in its place so thought I’d chuck it out into the universe anyway. You’re welcome to get the paper and do your own thing if you prefer.
Pics I used were:
1 {20 x 15cm} landscape – at least I think that was the size – I chopped it down to 15.5 x 12.5cm.
3 {2up} landscape
5 (4up} landscape
4 {9up} portrait.
I did a little concertina tag on the bottom left corner and cut the sleeve so that the tag is on the outside of the page (kindly ignore the fact that I had the sleeve the wrong way round!).
Then I was too lazy to pull the whole thing out of the sleeve so I’ve photographed it in the plastic which hasn’t helped the overall look of it!

I haven’t done an proper newsletter this week, because, I’m…uh….suffering from a spot of inertia I guess, but……
I’m happy to do an evening class on Tuesday and/or Thursday.

I’ve just this morning collected some more Nestabilities so I have the straight and scalloped circles back in stock and a few other designs.

We had a lovely card class with Bee this past Thursday and we’ll be officially running the class on the last Thursday of every month. Space is limited so you’ll need to get in quick sticks.

I’m just soooo excited – I’ve just this morning done the most amazing canvas workshop with Lauriana Glenny working with oil and acrylic paints, rub on’s, stamps etc. She is just so hugely talented and a lovely lady to boot. I’ve attached a pic for you to see (although my photography does not do justice to the finished product). Can you just picture a set of 4 or 8 of these canvases on your wall? I’m thinking of this as one of our Christmas projects. What say you?

I’ve just got in some lovely beach paper in so look out for a move away from my resent obsessive black / white/ gray / pink phase!
A very happy birthday to Kelly for this coming Saturday. Wishing you a happy day Kel.

There you have it. This was sent to me by my mother so it must be ok to pass on…..

Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo , Japan ..
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises..
'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,'Manicures, $20.00'.
'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit........ which now had a button sewn neatly on the end..

Hope to see you all some time soon!
Kind regards
Alison

Butterfly

2011-08-08T04:27:00.000-07:00

Hi there girls
Shiver me timbers…..seriously, have you EVER known such a cold winter here in Durbs? I’m almost looking forward to summer.

I’m a wee bit behind with next week’s page. This is mainly due to the fact that I’ve got myself totally and horrible caught up in another addiction, one which is totally consuming my every waking moment. What you ask? Well, I’m busy doing a quilting course which I fear is slowly going to lead me down the road to financial ruin. If you think scrapping has a tool for everything, you ain’t seen nothing like the quilting world.
Anyway, back to the page: It’s called “Butterfly”, so called only because it has a butterfly on it. Name will no double change when I add the title.
Pic requirements are:
3 jumbo: 1 portrait & 2 landscape
1 (2up): landscape
4 (9up): portrait
Paper is pinks, blues and yellows with little houses and quite flowery so maybe not suitable for your boy on his skateboard.

I know Tuesday is a Public Holiday but as it’s Women’s Day {and in honour of she who is shortly to leave our shores} I thought we’d scrap in the evening so please do join us if you’re free. (No class on Tuesday morning though - I just have to go and have my peri peri prawn fix). And as an added bonus we’ll scrap on Thursday evening as well. Otherwise scrapping will be on the usual days.

Bee is keen to do card class which she’s happy to do either morning or evening . We’d like to put the class together quick sticks so please let me know if you’d like to attend and if so, when. The class will be held right here in my cosy little studio (actually its more like a freezer box in winter and Hades in summer)

You’ll be pleased to know the Cuttlebugs all found loving homes. In fact, there was more love than Cuttlebugs so I’ve had to order more. Let me know if you’d like me to put one aside for you. I’ve also ordered some embossing folders which should come in next week and I Spellbinders in stock. I also have fabulous Tool Totes in stock at the very reasonable price of R280.00.

Now, for most of my scrapping life (going on 9 years now!), I have always and only done double page layouts because I’ve like the flow it gives your album but the other day I was looking at Vanessa Mathews album and she does LOADS of single page layouts and it got me thinking: Why not? I often want to scrap a page that I only have one to three pics for and I find myself scrounging around for more in order to do a double page. So I thought I’d put it out to you – how would you feel about doing single page layouts? We could do two in one workshop. Your feedback would be much appreciated {even if you don’t scrap here regularly or at all}

Don’t you just love a little useless information? I so do so I thought I’d share a few with you. These are to do with language and literature:
- More than 6.3 million Star Trek books, in more than 15 languages are in print; 13 are sold every minute in the United States. (Explains a lot about America)
- No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
- The word ‘karate’ means ‘empty hand’.
- The white part of your finger is called the lunula.
- There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs six times: indivisibility.
- The symbol # is called an octothorpe.
- Men can read smaller print than women.
- Underground is the only word in the English language to begin and end with ‘und’.
- ’Rhythms’ is the longest English word without the normal vowels of a,e,i,o,u.
- The shortest complete sentence in the English language is ‘Go’………
which is exactly what I shall do right now.

Ciao for now.
Alison

Butterfly

2011-08-08T04:25:00.001-07:00

Life is Good

2011-07-18T04:45:00.000-07:00

Hi there
I don’t know about you but I’m feeling like this has been one of the coldest winters we’ve had. Glorious in the sun of course but really nippy in the shade. Evenings find me huddled around my one bar heater (well actually it’s a 3 bar but two have blown, leaving me living in terror that the other will go before August). Anyhow, I prefer the coolth to that stinky February humidity.

This week’s page is Life is Good – loosely based on Debbie from Prints Charming’s lay out. It requires:
6 jumbo landscape – these get snipped down to about 14 x 8.5.
4 x (4up) – 3 landscape and one portrait {or 4 landscape if you must}
You can use any old pics that smack of the good life.
Cost of the kit is R110.00 (including workshop). A steal. {You could also do this page at home.}

I’ve got two Cuttlebug machines on the floor, looking for a loving home. If you’re unfamiliar with the Cuttlebug I would be forced to ask what planet {or mind altering drugs} you’ve been on for the last couple of years. This is that wondrous little machine that die cuts and embosses and is absolutely indispensable to the discerning scrapper. To say nothing of the professional cards you can churn out. I would have to say that scraping-wise, this has altogether been one of my best loved, most used, most useful pieces of equipment. Price is R650.00. Call me if you’d like a demo.

I was going to do an evening class on Thursday but then I remembered I’m off to see Topsy Turvy. Did any of you see Jonathan Roxmouth in A Handful of Keys? Absolutely brillo. I’m hoping this show will be as impressive. What a HUGE talent. We’ll do an evening class on Thursday 28th instead.

There really does not seem to be much other news about. I could ramble on but I wont. Do hope to see you all some time soon. I leave you with a little light humour.
Best regards
Alison

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?'
He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.'
She says, 'Why, are you sick?'
He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.'
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, 'Where the heck are you going'?
She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.'
He says, 'Why, what do you need?'
She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot.'

2011-07-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

Embrace Life

2011-07-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hello again!
Well, here I am back from wondering the hills and dales of the British Isles. Had a marvelous time catching up with family and friends although not in the best of weather. Poor things, I now understand their slight obsession with that little yellow orb. I will be writing to the tourism board about a small problem I encountered: all my clothes seem to have shrunk. I can only assume it’s something in their water. And bizarrely, it seems to have even affected even those clothes that where left behind in my cupboard.

Anyhows, after a lovely break from scrapping (very welcome, I confess); I’m ready to resume some serious scrappin’ action. This week’s page is Embrace Life using the Bo Bunny Ad Lib papers – nice bright primary colours. Pics used:
1 jumbo – portrait
2 {2up} – landscape
9 {9up} – 5 landscape / 4 portrait.
Can be of any theme really.
Classes are back on track with immediate effect so please do book – I’d so love to catch up with you all. Kit price is R125.00.
Just to avoid any confusion: when I say 9 {9up}, I mean nine pictures in total, not 9 x 9 {9up} (ie 81 pics!!) if you get my drift.

Evening classes will start from next week on Thursday 14th.
With regards our Soup & Slippers card making day, I’m going to do one in the holidays and one outside of the holidays to suit everyone.
So the first one will be on Wednesday 13th (which falls inside the school holidays) from 09h30 – 16h00 with a break for soup at 13h00 {and moenie worry nie, this time I’ll get Phil to make the soup!)
The idea of these days is for us to take all out gorgeous scraps of patterned paper and turn them into lovely little (or big) cards that you can give out throughout the year. I’m going to be demo’ing 3 cards so that it’s a little bit more structured than last year and then we can just sit and play. I now have such a fabulous range of Nestabilities and Cuttlebug embossing folders that we can have hours of fun. Plus loads of gorgeous stamps. Space unfortunately is limited so please do book early for this.
I’m soon going to be doing the rounds looking for some great stock…… watch this space.

Once again Tracy Shimper and Vanessa Mathews will be doing their Hillcrest Primary School Fundraiser. Do support them if you can – such a worthy cause too, knowing that you’re contributing to these little cherubs knowing which is the right side up of a pencil by the time they leave school.

That all my news for now while I gently ease my way back into reality. Hope to see you all some time soon.

Here’s a little chuckle……
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Playing with Philip

2011-05-21T02:23:00.000-07:00

Hi there girls

So, I trust you all made your X for a better and brighter South Africa…… one day our ship might come in {no harm in dreaming}. I must say my voting experience was a doddle – walked in and out with just a dirty finger nail to show for my efforts. I hope this doesn’t mean good citizens where not voting!

Anyhows…. you’re either going to like this week’s page – Playing with Philip - or it’s going to leave you cold. The paper is all sepia-ish (is there such a word?) and the pics themselves are in sepia so you might find it all together too dull for your taste. The pics I used where:
2 jumbo – 1 portrait, 1 landscape
1 {2up} landscape
1 {2up} portrait
7 {4up} portraits
There was also meant to be 1 x {4up} landscape but I printed the wrong pic so feel free to add one yourself.
Can be of absolutely any theme you like.

Evening class will be on Thursday 26th by request. Do book for a fun evening.
Be warned: there is a page coming up on……ME!! {well, no you obviously don’t have to scrap me but yourself – and I know how much some of you hate that idea. In which case you may then scrap me if you prefer).
I’m busy working on my heritage page as we speak and it’s going to have masses of journaling. I’ve done it in the form of Q&A so will send the questions off to you well before the class.

A very happy birthday to Lauretta who has a birthday today {Saturday}. Happy day lovely lady.
As you may know, I’m off to the UK for 3 weeks on the 8th June for a little travel therapy. I’ll probably shut shop but my mom will be here so you would be welcome to come along to purchase stock if you need to. I could even organise a few scrap ‘n chats if you like……
Chalk inks are finally in!

That’s my bundle for this week……

I’ve become rather mindful of my health recently {it’s an age thing I guess} and would encourage you all do regular health checks. Here’s a bit of advice for preparing yourself for your annual mammogram……..

Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough..

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there...
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause....
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?...And
When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!

Happy scrapping!!
Warm regards

Picture Perfect

2011-05-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Hi gals
Seriously, how does a day that starts with such promise descend into chaos and tears in a matter of minutes? See, what happened was that I was minding my own business, scrapping up a storm when that Adele song “Could Have Had it All” came on. Now, I don’t know about you but that song always makes me want to dance. With vigour. Which is what I did. Stupidly not taking into account the cup of tea perched perilously close to the page I was working on and my lack of co-ordination in the dancing department. And yes, you guessed it: tea ALL over the new page, the desk, into my mosaic squares, class notes….. I tried to mop it all up though my tears but I’m afraid the damage is done. I’ll have to re-do the whole right hand side of the one page. The rest will just have to remain damaged and slightly tea stained.
I find it ironic that I’m always going on about you all drinking at the table and yet, to date, I’m the only one who has EVER knocked anything over. I still cringe at the red wine all over Ash’s page.

Still, no use crying over spilled….er….tea.
Next week’s page is Picture Perfect. Pics I used were
1 x {18 x 13} landscape
3 x jumbo landscape {of which I cut 2 cm off vertically and 1 cm horizontally}
6 x {4 up} landscape.
I used the lovely Stella Rose range {which I’ve discovered is highly moisture absorbent!). Layout can be of any theme you like.
{I’ll send the page out as soon as I’ve done a repair job on it – hopefully some time tomorrow}

Green tombo is back in stock and I should have those evasive chalk inks in some time next week.

Next week’s evening class is……um, you tell me. I’ve lost track of what night it should be so if any of you want to scrap, drop me a line and we’ll arrange it.

This has been raised before but girls really, I just cannot hang on to unpaid kits for months {especially when I have people begging to buy them}. I really don’t mind you leaving them here to infinity if they’re paid for but I’m afraid in order to keep the stock fresh and exciting {and coming in}, I need the cash flow.

Doesn’t seem to be much news in the happy world of scrapping so I’ll keep things short and sweet this week.
Take care and hope to see you soon.
Regards
Alison

I’ll end with the sweet innocence of youth…….

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across
the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling
children, hid his smile behind his hand.

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"

"Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied.
"We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

Family Life

2011-04-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

Howdy Doody!! (although when I did spell check it suggested I use Dodgy – so Howdy Dodgy if you prefer) I've been forgetting to post my newsletter onto my blog since January!! Ooops.... my bad. Anyhows..... I went up to Jo’burg last weekend (and what a fun weekend it was!) to attend the Tim Holtz Scrapping Day at Emperor’s Palace. I’ve returned armed with a fabulous wealth of knowledge about inks, distressing, spritzing, using Grunge board etc which I’m dying to pass on to all of you (and not at the R1 7000.00 I paid to garner this knowledge!!). He is a marvelous teacher and has really encouraged me to think out of my staid little box. I’ve always sadly been one of those unimaginative people who usually uses stuff in its natural form and he’s made me think out the box and try and engage more in an “altered” way of scrapping. So look out for some fab layouts using distressing inks, masks, pearls etc. Talking about Jo’burg – boy did I salivate at all the stunning stock up there! I’ve come back with a great dent in my credit card and some really divine papers which I’m busy packing into kits as we speak: Stella Rose, Bo Bunny, Echo Park to name a few. (Is it just me or do you sometimes see a really gorgeous piece of paper and get the urge to lick it?). I think they spray those shops with some kind of “buy gas” because by the time I walked out I had bought a whole bunch of stuff for us to use in the workshops, non of which I was aware of until I checked my credit card statement – lovely new nestabilities, Martha Stewart border punches, stamps, corner chompers etc. It’s really quite frightening. What if I’d been in a jewelry shop? I spent the whole of Monday flat on my back recovering from Post Purchasing Remorse. Still, I’m dying to use it all. I also stocked up on Tombo glue, double sided tape; click ‘n stick, sanding blocks, edge scrappers etc. Next week’s page is “Family Life” – I just LOVE the paper {Stella Rose}. You need: 1 jumbo landscape 3 x (2 up) landscape (2 pics printed onto one jumbo) 2 x (4 up) portrait (4 pics printed onto one jumbo) Just to clear something up – when I say 3 x (2up) I mean 3 actual pictures, not 3 x 2 pictures printed onto one jumbo making 6 photo’s in all if you know what I mean. As the title suggests, you need to bring pics depicting family life - could be just about any scenario. Sorry I don’t have pics on mine yet …..running around like a shot cat….chasing my tale…..stress, stress, stress…. I’m going to be designing a whole range of heritage pages using the Tim Holtz’s (my new love) idea-ology paper which is going to require a lot of facts and figures. Please do start looking though your old photos of mom, dad, grandparents etc – they are going to be very meaningful pages. Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 14th at 18h00 – do join us for a fun filled scrapping evening. Now, as you know I am the proud owner of both the Cricut and Silhouette digital craft cutters – both of which have sat her gathering a nice bit of mould and dust over the years (the Silhouette is still to be plugged in). Truth be told, they kind of scare me but I’ve decided that this month I’m going to sit down and master them both. This hopefully will open up a whole world of new fonts and designs to incorporate on our layouts. Watch this space. Early warning: The SA International Scrapbook Convention at Emperor’s Palace will be on the 10 & 11th September @ R2795.00 per delegate. Don’t know who the teachers will be at this stage but will keep you informed. Start saving now if you’re keen to go. That’s about my bundle for this week. Have a happy scrapping week. I’ll end with a few of those quotes that I so love………. When I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' -Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible - George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out or spread out. - Phyllis Diller By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out. May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more and may nothing but happiness come through your door. Cheers! Alison.

Suprise Layout

2011-01-14T22:08:00.000-08:00

Howdy Girls
I don’t know about you but I’m having a lot of trouble trying to jump start myself into 2011. It’s the 15th and I still feel in holiday mode. So much so that I’ve still not done next week’s page. I’m hoping to do it this weekend after which I’ll then send out the requirements. (I’ve called it the Surprise Layout as I’m expecting it to surprise even me!)

So, as much as I’ll like to carry on in this kick back fashion, reality calls so from Monday we’ll be right back to our normal scrapping week. Just to remind you:
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning: 09h30 – 12h30
Tuesday 18th: 18h00 – 21h00 (the following week’s evening class will be on Thursday.)

I’ll also be placing orders for all the out of order items like Tombo, double sided tape, some nice new papers etc.

That’s really about it. Lovely to see so many of you back scrapping last week and I look forward to seeing more of you all in 2011. No reason, but I have a good feeling about this year…..

Now, I really hate to be a scare monger but I encourage you all to share my horrible horrible experience with all your girlfriends – let it serve as a dire warning:

You’ve all heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves?
Well, my thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else’s thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I’d have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary – my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee!! Those “plastic” surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts – stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something lifted, look again – was it lifted from you? THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere, every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
PS. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits while I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
I thought this was too important not to pass on. Have a wonderful day – with a joy filled heart. And always remember to laugh! Helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!
PPS – those same thieves come into my closed and shrink my clothes! How do they DO it????

Take care

Such Prettiness

2010-10-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hi there girls

You know I’m always going on and on {ad nauseum} about journaling? Well I was chatting to Janine the other day and she put is so succinctly. She said – “the photos are the heart of your page but the journaling is the soul”. I could not possibly have put it better myself. So there, think about that next time you do a page with no soul.

This week’s page is a layout {Such Prettiness} by Mandy from Crafts From Our Heart and is a very pretty girly page using lovely papers from Art From The Heart (so much of heartiness going on!).
Picture requirements:
8 x [8.5 x 8.5]
1 jumbo portrait or landscape
Then there is a “secret pocket” where you could add an additional 5 x [6.5 x 6.5] pics or a combination of private journaling and pics.
Now fear not if you only have testosterone fuelled stinky boys or wish to do a page on your bonsai – we can always McGyver the paper to fit the theme.

Just a reminder: I’m open tomorrow {Saturday} if you feel like scrapping or just popping in for a cuppa.
I’m afraid next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 28th at 18h00 and not Tuesday as my not-to-be-missed bookclub has been moved. Do pop along for a little scrappy time. I’m afraid I’ve had to ban wine glasses from the table as some ham fisted moron has TWICE now spilled both red and white wine over some poor unsuspecting crafters page (that moron being me of course).
Next Thursday I have a vitally important meeting to attend at 12h00 so if you’re scrapping, could you come a leeetle earlier so we can finish earlier? I’d be so grateful. (Actually, I’m bound to be caught out so let me confess that the “important meeting” is a Sex and the City lunch at Mohemia. Sue me)

The new Cosmo Cricket papers have arrived – bright and cheerful they are too. Then also just arrived: tote bags (oh yes!), metal rulers (3 sizes), self healing mats, bamboo folders (stunning price), one hole punches, glitter, buttons and flowers. And the most noo noo 6x6 paper packs absolutely perfect for card making (a steal @ R32.00 for 50 pages!).

A very happy birthday to Miz Linda Hutton who {I do SO hate to use the f-word in a family newsletter} turns FORTY on Friday! Fabulous at Forty I might add. Have a great day Linda.

Other than that, not much to report.
Have a splendid weekend, whether you’re supporting Animal Anti Cruelty or CANSA (or neither).
Ciao for now
Alison

I’ll end with a few things we learn as we trundle through life (I totally agree with 3. and disagree with 11!)

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people tomake a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. ! Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Sink or Swim. That's life.

2010-10-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

Hi Girls

I’m a bit early with the newsletter this week. That’s because I’ve got masses to do but know where my priorities lie (with you!) so thought I’d get next week’s page out my way FIRST.

Oh I do so love a bit of colour blocking which is why I’ve incorporated into next week’s layout - “Sink or Swim. That’s Life”. Such a great way to use up lots of pics.
What I used was:
4 jumbo landscape – cropped to 11 x 9.5 cm
1 jumbo cut into a circle
Then I printed about 10 x 2 up’s i.e. 5 jumbo in total all of which got cropped down to various sizes.
You could also use jumbos with small subject matter and use the one jumbo in more than one block if you know what I mean.
I used the Fab Scraps Shabby Chic range but I’ve attached pics of the Hippy Chic and Urban Chic ranges which would work well as an alternative.
Please let me know if you’d like me to put a kit aside for you.

Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 21st. 18h00 – 21h00. Don’t forget to book.

A very happy birthday to Monica for Saturday 23rd. Have a great day Mon.

Please don’t forget the Line Dance Marathon Fundraiser on Saturday 23rd at uShaka in aid of Animal Anti Cruelty. Such a worthy cause and they badly need your support. You can pop along and watch us dancing all for the price of a packet of dry dog or cat food.
I know this clashes with Scrapping 4 CANSA day in Toti I’ve just sent you but do try and attend one or the other.
I sometime think we forget how truly rich and blessed our lives are. It’s nice to spread it around a bit.
Oh, I wanted to mention: I get loads of feedback from my newsletter but no one ever comments on my blog (which is the same newsletter). Please do, it looks like such a lonely unread and unloved site!
That’s my bit for this week. Have a dandy weekend.
Kind regards
Alison

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don't just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.

I {Love} to Play

2010-10-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

Well hello there!

So, I’m making steady progress with the roller blading (i.e. I’ve advanced from my carpeted studio to the smooth tiles of my bedroom). My Ry Daar requires some fine tuning as I still seem be smacking into any objects in my path, both animate and inanimate (actually to be truthful, even things NOT in my direct path).

As you may have noticed, we’ve had a spate of pages with just a couple of pics on them which as you know are not my favourite layouts (coming a close second to pages with NO journaling) So next week’s page is {I Love to Play} and uses the lovely bright primary papers from Art From the Heart and has 10 pics on it. I used:
6 jumbo cropped to 8 x 8 cm
2 (2up) portrait – 7cm x 10cm
2 (2up) either landscape or portrait
As the title suggests it can be of anything that conjours up playfulness and here you can think a bit out the box. It doesn’t HAVE to be of your playful cherubs but can be of, for example, your Labrador pup or you at your tap dance class. I was going to do my page with pics of me rollerblading but my camera seems to have a developed a major flaw – all the pics of me show odd lines on my face, what could be mistaken for bags under my eyes and makes me look twice my natural size. My mother claims the camera is merely picking up my laugh lines but quite frankly, I don’t remember ANYthing being THAT funny. And to think how much I paid for it.
This is why my page as yet does not have any pics on it. I’ll try and get it off tomorrow – just doing the finishing touches (read: I’m not yet satisfied with it).
Please book your kit as stock is limited.

Next week’s evening class will be on Tuesday 12th at 18h00. Please book {if you like}.

Lovely new Cosmo Cricket papers are making their way to my awaiting arms as we speak. I’m hoping the tote bags will be in late next week – my humble appologies to all of you who have been waiting so patiently for them. I don’t like to shift blame, but I have to say that this time it’s the suppliers. Some new glitter coming too just in time for Christmas along with one hole punches, bone folders, en so voort.

I’m so excited. Di from RS&E is going to be coming in to do a fantastic Mini Album project here some time soon using the lovely October Afternoon papers. This is a lovely take on the traditional mini album with great fold ups and pockets etc. I thought it would make a stunning Christmas gift to give to gran, your hubby, your therapist or what have you. I’m thinking lets make it an extended lesson to include a light lunch. I’ll try and get the dimensions and sample of the papers off to you beforehand so you can plan your pics and we could possibly finish the project on the same day (always the top prize for me. I’m tired of these gazillion unfinished works of art). Keep an eye out for details.

I’ll also be having a gift tag making day in November which will include tea and cake (like we need it!). This will just be a fun morning to use up all our old Christmas paper scraps. I’ve got some gorgeous new clear Christmas stamps we can all use.

Talking about Christmas gifts, the divinely talented Ms Chantal and Cheryl from Imagine That at The Crescent are having what looks like is going to be a great all day crafting event at the Norwegian Hall in St Thomas Road on the 30th October. I’ve attached all the details for you to have a peek. Do try and attend, even if it’s just to laugh along with (or at, if you must) the very funny and amusing Chants.

A very happy birthday to Audrey Buckley for Sunday – have a great one Auds. And happy birthday to Bev Sole who is proof that 60 is the new 40. Have a great birthday and trip to UK Bev.
That’s my bundle for this week…..scrap on…..hope to see you some time soon.
Your scrapping buddy
Alison

I know this has been around before [and before that] but it’s so sweet. I partiulary like the “fibula”!!

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Summer Memories

2010-10-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hi there
I got this mad insane idea that I need to learn to rollerblade (actually, it wasn’t a sudden whim; it’s been on my bucket list for years along with learn to play the piano, speak Zulu, make a roulade etc). Anyway, Alanna kindly loaned me her absent daughters blades and I did my first stumble across my studio yesterday. I nearly landed on my bum when I did my victory whoop when I reached the ribbon rack, unaided. Of course I realise blading on a carpet might be a totally different lark to doing it on smooth concrete. Still, persevere I shall. I aim to be flying along that new run way on the Durban Beachfront in the next month. Watch out {!} if you’re there, my cruise control might not be that good.

This week’s page is Summer Memories and is a lovely layout by the very talented (and divine) Laurie. Now, this is the page that has the waterfall booklet on which I mentioned in a previous letter. It requires us to work step-by-step together to assemble it so you can’t be racing ahead (and then blaming me for any cocky’s). It comes in kit form so please let me know if you’d like me to set one aside for you. The papers are Kaiser Kraft and the combo’s are too bootiful (don’t you sometime feel you want to lick nice paper? I do). I know this kind of thing is not everyone’s cup of tea but I encourage you to give it a go as it’s always good to learn something new, even if you have no intention of repeating the exercise. If it really gives you the grills, you can do a common garden type booklet.
I changed the photo requirements slightly from Laurie’s and used:
1 (13 x 15) landscape
6 jumbo portrait (5 of which got the chop slightly – height wise)
2 (2 up) – 1 landscape and 1 portrait.
(if you’re battling to find portrait pics, you can use 2ups (10 x 7.4cm) landscape pic inside the booklet x 5)
As the title suggests, the layout will work well with anything to do with summer – picnic, beach, pool or what have you.

Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 7th. Do let me know if you can make it.
I’ve still got some kits put aside here for some of you – please do come in and claim them before they grow fur.
I’m a bit stunned that Christmas is nearly upon us! I’m frantically casting about for a nice thing to do for Christmas gifts. Stay tuned.
(I won’t be mentioning Halloween as I’m anti all that Yankee Doodle stuff)

Nothing to report this week (we gotta get some excitement going here gals!). Don’t forget to support the Animal Anti Cruelty Line Dance Marathon on the 23rd October. If you can’t make it, perhaps you’d think of dropping a bag of dog or cat food off with me and I’ll get it to them (I promise not to eat it).
All that’s left to say is….. happy scrappin’.

Take care
Alison

This is a bit naughty, but does make me chuckle……..

SING IT GIRLS!!! OUT LOUD (To “I Will Survive”)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I ' d spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you ' ve brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those Jeans!
Go on now-go! , Walk out the door,
Don ' t you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren ' t you a brat to think I wouldn ' t find you out!?
Don ' t you know we ' re only joking when we say size don' t count??!!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My s * x life ' s gonna thrive!
I will always have good s * x,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!
Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I ' m saving all my lovin ' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My s * x life ' s gonna thrive!
I will always have good s * x,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!
Hey! Hey!

{Together} if you like

2010-09-24T03:08:00.000-07:00

Howdy Doody

Well, we sure did have a fun day at the Hillcrest Fund Raiser last Saturday. And they raised R30 000 for the school to boot! Is that not fabulous? That’s more than I’ve raised for myself in the past 4 years! Such a success in fact that I think they’ll probably run another one so keep an eye out. It was also great to see some of my old customers and catch up on a bit of their news.

Now, I’ve either got lots of you not coming next week as it’s school holidays or others who’ve booked and are wanting to be catching up on a missed layout. So I’ve decided that I’d show those of you wanting something new, the page we did with Venessa Matthews on Saturday. It’s a lovely page, not too fussy with a lovely focus on the photo’s. You need:
2 x jumbo’s – landscape
7 x 2 up (10cm x 7.5cm) portrait (won’t work with landscape)
Her title was {Together} but you could do it of any theme using any title. I’m not packing kits for this so you can choose your own paper.

I’ve recently had a number of enquiries from gals who’re unable to attend a workshop [running after kids, having their teeth whitened, go the snivels or what have you] and they were wondering if they could do my workshops at home. Well of course you can. Absolutely. What I do is type out the notes and email these to you along with a pic of the page. Then all you have to do is collect it. There are one or two that I wouldn’t recommend you try at home on your own (like next week’s waterfall affair which is quite complex). But on the whole, my layouts are pretty easy to follow with a few notes on size etc. As my fee is so little (more of a tip really), the price remains the same.

Because of the past card class on Thursday 23rd, it threw the evening classes out a bit so next week we’ll be having an evening class on both Tuesday 28th and Thursday 29th. Always a pleasant evening (made all the more pleasant with the intake of a bit of fermented grape juice). So do book. 18h30 – 21h30.

A very happy birthday to Tersia who has a birthday on Monday. Have a good one Tersh!
I haven’t heard of anything exciting coming up {in the scrapping world that is, lest you think I’m talking about the bedroom}. Let me know if you have. I know Imagine That are having a great craft day some time soon but I haven’t received the details yet. Will let you know if and when I hear anything.
So all that’s left to say is have a fabulous long weekend, keep safe if you’re on the roads and have a happy scrappin’ week!
Best Regards
Alison

I don’t like to get too political in a newsletter but I thought this was rather interesting………

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in
one of its press releases.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
.
A billion Rand ago was only
27 hours and 12 minutes, at the rate our government
is spending it.

Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporation Tax
Income Tax
VAT
GST
Fishing Licence Tax
Food Licence Tax
Fuel LicenceTax
Petrol/Diesel Tax
Hunting Licence Tax
Luxury Tax
Property Tax
Service charge taxes
Capital gains Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Local Tax
Vehicle Licence Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 20 years ago...
And our nation was one of the most prosperous in Africa.

We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in Africa
And Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?

I hope this goes around
At least a billion times.

What the HELL happened?????

Birdie Num Nums

2010-09-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hi Peeps
Strange weather this. Not sure whether to pack away the woolies or not. Tried a cozzy on yesterday that had me weeping in the change room – I think for now I’d rather be all bundled up. I’m even leaning towards donning a burkha.

Now, next week’s page is Birdie Num Num and is a real girlie girl one – all pretty pinks, greens and browns with little birdies and journalling blocks. Doesn’t have to be of a little girl but of any thing girlie if you get my drift. I used:
3 jumbo portrait
2 jumbo landscape
1 (2up) landscape
Let me know if you want me to keep you a pack (this page is very paper specific).

Bee’s card class will be held here at SBJ on Thursday 23rd @ 17h30. Please let me know if you’ll be attending as Bee will only do a workshop if we have at least 7 people.

This means that we’ll have to make the evening class on Tuesday 19th. Do book.
Enjoy the Hillcrest fund raiser, all of you who will be attending. Sure is an early start!

I know there are other bit of news to impart to you but I just can’t think what they are right now. I’m sure to remember just minutes after I press “send”
Have a fabby dabby weekend and scrap away.
Kind regards
Alison

The Four Ages of Man.

15-30 yrs : Kanonkop

31-50 yrs : Meerlust

51-60 yrs : Rust en Vrede

61 yrs + : Allesverloren

Family

2010-09-03T05:23:00.000-07:00

Greetings scrappers!

Well spring has sprung and on the 1st I found myself spontaneously leaping into a wild demonic spring cleaning frenzy. It was, like, INSTINCTIVE! Actually, to be more accurate, I phoned Charmaine, my beloved trusty temp domestic and she did all the leaping with me looking on in an advisory capacity. Sometimes I love Africa.

As I mentioned in my last newsletter, I’m off to Kaapstad for (hopefully) some wild and memorable days. Five to be exact. This means that SBJ will be closed from Thursday 9th until Tuesday 14th. Otherwise, it’s business as usual so no need to stay away.

So, next week’s page is a Family layout designed by the talented Lee-Anne Fisher (see attached). It really is a lovely page with paper ribbons, flowers and chipboard bits. It has only:
2 jumbo landscape
1 (18 x 13 cm) landscape
Will work brilliantly with lovely pics of the whole family together, either in colour or B&W. The kits comes with all the chipboard pieces, blomme etc.

There won’t be a newsletter next Friday as I’ll be away so let me tell you now about the following week’s workshop: we will be playing Catch-Up as there are so many of you behind with pages. So come along and catch up on any of those missed workshops. I’ve got a spate of great layouts in the pipeline. You have to admit I’ve been bloody marvellous at churning out a workshop every week, on time, even if I say so myself.

There’s been a bit of a hiccup at the Racing Pigeon Club where Bee holds her card making workshops – seems those bleeding lice ridden flying rodents have come home to roost and they keep canceling Bee’s hall hire (the owners, not the pigeons). She’s asked if I’d mind hosting a card workshop here at SBJ – still at the same time of 17h30 on the second last Thursday of the month. As you know, space is limited here so can you give some indication of whether you’d like to join us on Thursday 23rd.? Actually, rather than and “indication” we’d need a firm booking.

Do you know that when I opened Scrapbook Junction in 2003 I charged R35.00 for a workshop and now, in 2010 I’m charging……. R35.00. The reason I made the decision to keep the fee way below the annual rate of inflation is so that you can spend more on the actual page. Now I’ve had to make a small adjustment here: you are absolutely welcome to bring your own paper to a workshop along with all your embellishments but I’m afraid the workshop fee will then be R55.00. This is still WELL below the general teacher fee in Durbs and the surrounds. I hope you understand.

That’s my bundle for this week. Look out for deluge of layouts of the magnificent Cape! Take care of yourselves, and scrap on……
Kindest of regards
Alison

Let me end with Larry’s proverbs…….. (chuckle chuckle)

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

World Cup Soccer II

2010-08-27T03:06:00.000-07:00

Hi there girls
All this toyi toying is fast making my lovely after glow from the World Cup Soccer fade to a dull dark cloud. What a great pity. Just when we were all feeling so unbelievably positive and realising the potential of this lovely country of ours.

So, maybe it’s fitting that this week’s page is of the Soccer World Cup II, lest we forget that great event. This time it has loads of info all over the page. (Just as well as last week we were all kind of battling to remember who was in the 3rd place playoff! Just a month after the big event!). You can either add your own journaling or use mine which was basically just recording who the teams where, a bit about Bafana Bafana, Zakumi, the vuvuzela etc. As you can see, I also got ALL 32 flags on the page! I’ve used:
1 jumbo portrait
1 jumbo landscape
5 (2up) landscape

I’ve got some great stock making its way to Scrapbook Junction – lovely Cosmo Cricket paper (gorgeous!), chipboard embellishments, loads of flowers, tote bags, Tombo glue, black and white brads etc.

Next week’s evening class will be on both Tuesday 31st and Thursday 2nd. The reason for this is that because the following week I’m off to Cape Town for a little jollie patrollie from Thursday 9th until Tuesday 14th so SBJ will be closed over those days. Still open for all the other days though so no need to fall in a heap. (I do have to laugh at how we think – saw these fabulously cheap air tickets to CT, snapped them up only to then realise we’d then need to: hire a car, find accommodation, eat out all day, buy all that Cape wine…..I think I’ve been suckered)

Please do remember to book for workshops and also, I’d be so grateful if you would please cancel if you’re not able to make a booked workshop. And please do feel free to pop in any time of the day or night, just check to make sure there’s someone here to help you.

I’ve got loads of paper kits here that people have asked me to keep. Please make a plan to pop in and collect and pay for them.
A very happy birthday to Kelly Horton for next Friday. Have a good one Kel.
Surely by now you’ve booked for the Hillcrest Primary Fundraiser on the 18th September and the Megacrop on the 13th November? Hu?

That’s about all I have for this week. Hope to see you all soon. I’ll end with this weeks chuckle……..
Blessings
Alison

SMART ARSE ANSWERS 2008

6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket - not your stub.'

4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant,
'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2nd Place
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver,
'Got stuck, eh?'
The lorry driver said,
'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
'A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.

Little Miss Sunshine

2010-08-21T00:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Happy Scrappers!
Shew! This has been a blerrie cold week! I even had to defrost my nipples on Thursday to stave off frostbite. Still, I shudder more when I think of February….

Next week’s page is a design by Ellie Griffiths. Nice uncluttered page with clean lines. I’ve called mine “Little Miss Sunshine” and is of (big surprise) the lovely little Ms Emma. You need:
2 jumbo portrait
3 jumbo landscape (one of which has about 4cm chopped off it)
The central landscape jumbo gets sliced down the centre to fit on both pages so you need to bear this in mind when choosing your pics. In other words don’t pitch with a pic with a huge face on it so you land up with an eye on each page. The background paper is yellow which I have to say is my least favourite scrapping colour but in this case I think it worked well.
You need to bring 6 yellow buttons and a white gel pen.

Next week’s evening class will be on Tuesday 24th. Let me know if you can make it. No class on Thursday evening as that’s the night of Bee’s Card Class - 17h30 at the Racing Pigeon Club in Durban North. Booking essential.
Unfortunately there will be no workshops on:
Tuesday morning (24th) – off to do my last mosaic class
Saturday morning (28th) – Rikki and I are taking a stall with our Koolitz Cool Ties at Crawford.

If you haven’t already done so, there is still time to book for:
The Hillcrest Primary “We Love Our School” fund raiser on Saturday 18th August. Should be a fun day.
Mega Crop at Sicas Guest House on Saturday 13th November.
Let me know if you need booking forms.

I’m hoping to have the Fab Scraps Heritage paper in stock later in the week. Seriously stunning. And absolutely superb to use in an 8x8 album. I’ve also ordered loads of flowers that should be in some time soon plus some chipboard embellishments.

I got a bit of a skok when I saw how close we are to Christmas! I’m already casting about for nice scrapping gift ideas that we can do in November (unlike past years where we’re been caught madly scrapping on the 15th of December to get finished.) I’m going to try and find a biggish project (like the calendars) and a smallish project (like the one sheet mini album) to try and please y’all (yeah, right….)

And lastly a happy birthday with to Sharon Chetty for her birthday on Wednesday. It was remiss of me not to mention Ada’s birthday on the 8th – but you know we luv ya.

That’s all folks. Have a marvellous week and keep a smile on your dial.
Ciao.
Alison

I’ll end with these true classified ads……

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old. Bites!

Hateful little bastard.

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel,

1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father, Super Dog .

Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.

Looks like a rat.

Been out a while.

Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE

Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica,

45 volumes. Excellent condition.

£200 or best offer. No longer needed,

Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Soccer World Cup 1

2010-08-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hi there.

Feel it. It is here. The Soccer World Cup layout that is. Yes, I’m sure you were loosing the faith but here it is. Now, this page is a loose scraplift of Marge Cox’s stunning page which won best World Cup layout in the recent Scrapping & Kie competition. (I only scraplift from the best I’ll have you know).
The pics I used where:
5 (4ups) – ie 4 pics printed onto one jumbo – 3 landscape, 2 portrait
2 (2ups) – ie 2 pics printed onto one jumbo - landscape
2 jumbo landscape.
(where I used the 2 ups and 2 jumbo, Marge used one stunning A4 landscape picture so you can do that if you prefer).
Now, the kit comes with:
The paper, soccer title, soccer ball strip and the hexagonals but you need to bring, if you want to use what I used :
Soccer playing cards purchased from C N A for R12.00 (the one with all the players)
Small South African flag stickers
A white gel pen (very important and like hens teeth to find although I’ve been told the Ink Spot has loads).
Any other pharaphanalia you might have – tickets, flags, Zakumi or what have you.
(incidentally, did you know that that strange little spotted leopard Zakumi (if indeed he is a leopard), created by one Andries Odendaal, was born in 16 June 1994 on Youth Day. The “ZA” is the international code for South Africa and “kumi” means ten in several African languages, referencing 2010?)
Soccer kits are limited so might be best to book one. (I’ve got one booked for Ada, AnnMarie, Alanna and Monica so far – hope I havent left anyone out)

I’m expecting a collective gasp of disbelief as you all realise that there is aboslutely NO journaling on this page. Now, before you start thinking I’ve fallen into your slovenly ways regarding journaling I have to tell you this is but one of TWO world cup layouts. Layout two will be positively awash with journaling. Who, what, where, why and how. You are more than welcome to scraplift as much of this information as you like.

I’ve attached the advert for the Scrapkits day at Sica’s for November 13th. Space is limited so make sure you book early.
You got all my info this week about the school Scrapping Fundraiser?. Do hope you’ve booked.

Evening class next week will be on Thursday 12th – let me know if you can make it.
Please make a note that I’ll not be open on Tuesday 10th as I’m off to a Retailers Day.
Bee tells me that her card class this month is going to be fabulous ( when is is not?) – I’m not sure of the date but I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything

Sheila is looking for someone to scrap a project for her. I’m afraid I just don’t have the time but I told her that I mix in a circle of very advanced scrappers, superior to me in many ways (a harmless little white lie, fingers were crossed) and that one of you might like to take on the project. She’s happy to pay of course. Let me know if you can take this on.

Wishing all you lovely ladies a fabulous Women’s Day on Monday. Go on, do something just for yourself.
Take care, have fun and laugh often.
Alison

I thought I’d end with these touching responses from kids who were asked what love is…….

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

No Page

2010-07-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Howdy Doody

Don’t ask me where this week went as I have absolutely no idea. Now, I confess – there is no new layout for next week. My bad. I just kind of lost my scrapping mojo this week and even found myself feeling slightly billious whenever I looked at all these colourful sheets of paper around me and bits of scrapping garnish.

However, the good news is that my soccer goodies for the World Cup 2010 page has finally arrived and I found myself looking at it all with something close to affection. So my plan is that I will devote a good part of my weekend to creating something lovely for the following week.
In the meantime, I know there are loads of you who are behind with workshops so I thought this would be a great time to play catch up. Or bring that box of unfinished pages in. And remember girls: NO MORE MUNCHIES during the workshops. You will be frisked on arrival and the sniffer dog will be on hand to ensure you are carrying nothing more than carrot sticks and low fat cottage cheese on your person.

Diarise: Scrapkits will be holding another Megacrop at Sicas on Saturday 13 November. I’ll send more details as and when I receive them. Lovely day out and Tracy never fails to deliver lovely layouts.

This week’s evening class will be on Tuesday 3rd. Be sure to book.
Just to recap: Classes are on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning from 09h30 – 12h30 (or thereabouts) and alternate Tuesday and Thursday evening from 18h00 – 21h00 (roughly)

That’s all for this week.
Have a grand weekend and hope to see you all some time soon.
Best regards
Alison

I’ll end with this letter which really did make me chuckle…..

This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'

Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f@cking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'. Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . ...
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Why My Superhero?

2010-07-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

Hi there
Frankly, I’m sick of the sound of my own voice today so I’ll just get right to it:

This week’s page is “Why my Superhero?” – Now, here you can think out the box. This does not automatically have to be of a man like your husband or father but can really be of anyone you would consider your Superhero (friend, brother, Nelson Mandela, sister, Oprah or what have you). I did mine of Precious (aka Phil). (I tried to get him to dress the part in my homemade Superman outfit and he seemed to be going along with it just fine but baulked when I tried to get him to slip into my tights). Obviously a vital part of the page is the journaling. I thought it would be a lovely idea if you were to do the page of your husband, and then get the kid to write a bit about why his/her dad is his/her Super Hero. Would be a lovely thing to look back on.
And the pics you need?:
2 jumbo portrait
4 (2up) landscape – ie two pictures printed onto one jumbo
Unless you tell a very long story with loads of hand movements, this page is really quick. I suggest you bring along some unfinished pages to while away the last hour of the workshop.
I’ll try and get the pic of the page off to you by Sunday.

Next week’s evening class is Thursday 29th. Let me know if you can make it.

I’ve got some really lovely new papers in – I’ve already packed them into great kits. So look out for some fun pages coming up.

That’s all for this week, hope something exciting happens soon in the world of scrapping before we all expire from boredom.
Have a marvelous weekend. Blessings to you
Alison

Just this week we were talking about stuff that really ages you, like knowing the lyrics to a seriously old song and remembering washtub wringers, when I received this email. Boy, did it date me! See if it does the same to you. If not, I don’t really want to hear about it thank you.

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favourite 'fast food' when you were growing up?

''We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'home,'' I explained. !

'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I'd figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore jeans, set foot on a golf course, travelled out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 10. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 10 pm, after playing the national anthem and epilogue; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people...

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home... But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --My brother delivered a newspaper, seven days a week. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the films. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or almost anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother' s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it... I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.How many do you remember?

Headlight dip-switches on the floor of the car.

Ignition switches on the dashboard.

Trouser leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.

Soldering irons you heated on a gas burner.

Using hand signals for cars without turn indicators.

Older Than Dirt Quiz:

Count all the ones that you remember, not the ones you were told about.Ratings at the bottom.

1. Sweet cigarettes

2. Coffee shops with juke boxes

3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles

4. Party lines on the telephone

5. Newsreels before the movie

6. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning.(There were only 2 channels [if you were fortunate])

7. Peashooters

8. 33 rpm records

9. 45 RPM records

10. Hi-fi's

11. Metal ice trays with levers

12. Blue flashbulb

13. Cork popguns

14. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young

If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older

If you remembered 7-10= Don't tell your age

If you remembered 11-14 = You're positively ancient!

I must be 'positively ancient' but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

Moo

2010-07-16T00:58:00.000-07:00

Well Hello There!
I’m still smarting at the fact that same bleeding octopus predicted all the soccer winners whilst I predicted precisely none! Every team that I supported, without exception, lost. I care not if that cephalopod lands up in some paella. Wasn’t that World Cup all together something else? I kind of feel like we all learned something about ourselves and our country from it. Made me mighty proud to be South African. Lets all do our bit to keep the flag flying.

Now, next weeks page – “Moo” (my name for my mom) – is a bit, er, pink. And I do mean PINK as in In. Your. Face. Pink. to be precise. But I have to say not a girly girl pink but rather a mad funky pink. Which means really it could be of any old subject. If you don’t have anything that would go with Crazy Pink, it would look really great with black and white pics.
You need:
2 jumbo pictures landscape
1 jumbo picture portrait
2 x (2 up) landscape
1 jumbo that can be circled.

I know by now you’re thinking that soccer page is not going to happen in your lifetime, but I assure you it’s on its way. Please be patient, your page will appear.

Next week’s evening class is on Tuesday 20th. Please be sure to book.
Last weeks page proved ever so popular – to the point that that kit is now totally sold out.

So this past Wednesday, whilst working our way through a basket of cheese muffins, we made that as old as Eve decision: Let’s go on DIET! But this time we’ll be clever and run it with a support group, much like the AA. Our fist meeting is next Wednesday just before class commences and will go something like….”Hi. My name is Alison. I’m a fatty”. “Hi Alison” – no judgement, no asking personal questions like your panty size, just love and support. We’ve even adopted their prayer (albeit a bit modified). “God grant me the serenity to accept that some things are just too high cal to make their way into my body, the courage to toss the double choc mousse cake in the bin and the wisdom to know the difference between a carrot stick and a glazed doughnut.” Feel free to join us even if it’s just via email or Facebook. Summer is looming on the horizon.

Well now, that sadly (or perhaps happily) seems to be my bundle for this week. I don’t even have any exciting new stock in or anything interesting to pass on. So until next week, I bid you….
Adieu
Alison

Read on for a little giggle if you like…..

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in R20, even though it's only for R32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit theywant change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay R2 for a R1 item he needs. A woman will pay R1 for a R2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shavingcream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Woolies. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items..
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favouritefoods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

A - Z of You

2010-07-11T00:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings!
Oh boy, did I have an interesting day on Friday. We did a tour of the Markets of Warwick Street. Now this is something I’ve driven past a number of times with my doors locked, windows up and a general feeling of panic, bordering on hysteria, but always intrigued by this other world on my doorstep. So off we went to explore. It consists of 9 different markets (mostly made up of informal traders), including the Bovine Head Market and the Muti Market both of which I found utterly fascinating. For someone who drifts between La Lucia Mall and Gateway, this was like been dropped onto another planet. We had a most excellent knowledgeable guide and were accompanied by someone from the CPF (Community Policing Forum) and TAC (Traders Against Crime) all the way so felt safe and unthreatened the entire 3 hours. It has recently been declared a World Heritage Site so it doesn’t look as though that fancy Mall is going to happen any time soon. It is really well worth a visit, especially if you’re entertaining overseas visitors. Let me know if you’d like me to forward the brochure. I could wax on but that’s not what this newsletter is about.

I’m afraid that those of you who have only produced male sprogs, This Weeks Page is not going to appeal. The A – Z of YOU and it’s all in pink and other girly colours and has sticker words: A Adorable, B Beautiful, C Charming, D Daring, E Exceptional down to Z (which naturally made me think I should do the page of myself but I was put off by the V = Vintage). Then others of you are not going to like it because it only has 4 portrait pics on the page. The idea of course would be to use 4 stunning pictures with some meaningful journaling. I don’t think it has to be necessarily of a young child, I’m going to do it of my 23 year old niece (what! again!).
Now, if you only have testosterone fuelled boys, you could still do the layout, we’d just put co-coordinating squares where the sticker words are and use boy paper.
If you no likee, you can use the opportunity to finish pages or do a past page or just come along and stare blankly at the wall.
I still have to take the pictures for my page (this arvie hopefully) but will get the page off to you asap.

I’ve had a sneak peak of the new range of Art From The Heart papers – again a lovely nice bright range that co-ordinates beautifully with the Fizz Pop/Lemon Twist range, plus a beautiful Autumn range. Then Fab Scraps are about to launch their new range which would be absolutely stunning for heritage. Lovely matching papers with these co-coordinating booklets with tags, phrases, tabs etc. Prepared to be amazed.

Apparently, or so I’ve been told, we will now have the Wednesday evening class on a TUESDAY, alternating with a Thursday. So this Week’s Evening Class will be on Thursday 15th.

That’s about it for this week. What the heck are we going to do when there’s no more soccer to watch? Boo hoo! In the meantime HIP HIP HOLLAND!!
Take care and hope to see you for a bit of scrapping.
Regards
Alison

I’ll end with this piece that will set you thinking……

Railroad tracks. This is fascinating.Be sure to read everything before the final paragraph; your understanding of it will depend on the earlier part of the content.

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the US railroads.Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroadTramways, and that's the gauge they used.Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else!!!!!

Clarens

2010-07-02T04:16:00.000-07:00

Well hello to you!
I have to say I’ve been stunned, let me even say shocked and dismayed, at how many of you have put your children before scrapping this holiday. I thought that’s what we had Children’s Shelters for. Or a perfectly adequate Child Welfare and Fostering system funded by your tax money. Still, far be it for me to tell you how to run your lives. I’m hoping to see you mothers back some time soon when all the small people are back at school.

Next week’s page is “Clarens” and requires:
1 jumbo portrait
5 (2ups) landscape cropped to 9.5 x 7.5 cm
4 (2 ups) landscape cropped to 6.5 x 6.5cm
2 (2ups) portrait cropped to 7 x 10cm
I did mine of the delightful town of Clarens in the Free State but quite frankly, it can be of any old theme you like. I used the Paper Loft range in pretty blue, burgundy, yellow and green.

So now this week we tried something new. As you know, things can get quite hectic in the workshops and whilst I’m a stong believer that a bit of chaos is good for the soul, things were getting a bit out of hand. So this week I tried to introduce some disipline and structure to the way the workshop is run. This seemed to work quite well and although I had no control over all the chit chat and general hysteria, we did work to some kind of system. So this is the New Deal: I am going to have to focus on the workshop of the day and give my undivided attention to those attending that particular workshop. Of course that does not mean that you can’t still come and scrap and chat or do a previous page but I’m afraid that it does mean that my focus and attention will be with those doing the workshop and I’ll only be able to help you if and when time allows.

We were hoping to have our “Finishing Pages” cheese and wine evening on Wednesday 7th but fortunately some wide awake person realised it’s the semi final which Cannot Be Missed. I’m thinking of taking myself down to the Fan Park to soak up some of the atmoshpere. So we’ll probably reschedule it for the following week. Hasn’t this month just flown? Can’t believe the WC is already winding down.
Therefore next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 8th - do join us.

Good news is that next week I’ll have bone folders, sanding blocks, brown chalk inks and Tombo glue back in stock. Let me know if you want me to keep anything aside as the stuff does tend to fly.

Those of you who are intersted in card making should really give Bee’s card classes a go. We have been making some really fabulous cards and of course, it’s always good to have time out with the girls. They are usually run on the 3rd Thursday of the month at the Racing Pigeon Club.

That’s me for this week. Stay well and happy.
Alison

I thought I’d end with this……..
Quiz for People Who (think they) Know Everything

These are not trick questions. They are straight questions withstraight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

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Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward. Niagara Falls - The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Live for the Moment

2010-06-26T00:39:00.000-07:00

Howdy Doody

So, this World Cup has got me thinking: why can’t Durbs, or the country for that matter, have this many foreign tourists, level of security and fabulous vibe ALL the time? Seriously, does the place not feel Alive With Possibilities? Every single foreigner I’ve spoken to has been blown away with the fantastic fabulosity of the people, the facilities, the service and the general bonhomie of the place. I’ve asked them all to be ambassadors for South Africa and go and spread the good news about their very positive experience here. Then we just need to get those bleeding expats to stop bad mouthing the country. I’m also going to get hold of Durban tourism and give them some of my (brilliant) suggestions for making Durban even better, all year round. (Can you begin to imagine all the fabulous activities they could put on at that new beach front?). We’re no longer feeling so much the poor cousin anymore nê?

Anyway, I digress, this is meant to be about scrapping:
This week’s page is another layout by Tracy Shimper – “Live for the Moment” - using her delicious Argyle Sweater, Houndstooth Blue and Chocolate Stripe papers: all brown, light blue and olive green colours. I’ve printed my pics in sepia but her colour pictures look just as good (pic to follow this arvie). The pic requirements are:
1 x (15cm x 20cm) landscape photo (6 inch x 8 inch)
1 x (13cm x 18cm) landscape photo (5 inch x 7 inch) – cropped to (12.5 x 17.5cm)
1 x (10 x 15cm) portrait photo.
1 x (10cm x 15cm) portrait photo – cropped to (6.5 x 15cm)
1 x (10cm x 15cm) portrait photo – cropped to (8.5 x 15cm)
4 photos – suitable for cropping to (7cm x 7cm)
You can do it of any theme – could be a butch page if you like although it does have a splatter of blomme on the page.

Now, in case you think I have no intention of scrapping anything to do with the World Cup – you’re wrong. I’ve got two lekker pages in the pipeline. Just waiting for the suppliers to deliver the goods. I have in stock right now chipboard “South Africa”, “2010”, “Soccer”, and soccer balls.

Us die hard scrappers decided we like this All Day scrapping lark so will be planning another one some time soon.
Next week’s evening class will be on Wednesday 30th – book if you’re keen.
Don’t forget the Prawn Festival at Colisheen in Ballito 2nd, 3rd, 4th July.

That’s about if for this week. May the festiveness last long after the WC ends……..
Blessings – Alison
(I’ve just heard on the radio that the Italians just visited an orphanage in Gauteng. “They had such sad forlorn faces” (according to Sipho, aged 7.) Tee hee.

Do more than belong: participate
Do more than care: help
Do more than believe: practice
Do more than be fair: be kind
Do more than forgive: forget
Do more than dream: work
William Arthur Ward

Soccer Fever Reigns

2010-06-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Hi there Girls
So sorry for the lateness of this weeks newsletter but I’ve been running around after all these lovely foreigners trying to ensure they leave here with a positive experience. Tiring work. But ever such nice people.

This week’s page is "Soccer Fever" which unlike it may sound, really is not in a soccer theme at all but can be a lay out of anything. It’s of my surrogate grandchild who is naturally soccer bef*k right now (‘scuse language) as you might well imagine. The page is in bright orange, blue and green and is ideal for a smaller girl or boy theme, maybe in the garden, as it has bugs all over it. However, you could well leave the bugs off and it would still make for a lovely page. Or even use completely different paper. I’m forgoing my dance class tonight to finish it and hope to get a pic of the page off to you girls tomorrow.
Photo requirements are:
1 A5 Portrait (1/2 A4): trimmed to 13.5 x 20 cm
6 (2 up) portrait : 2 trimmed to 6.5 x 10 cm
2 trimmed to 6.5 x 9.5 cm
2 trimmed to 6.5 x 9 cm
9 (2up) landscape: trimmed to 8 x 6.5 cm

I will be doing a proper World Cup page in the near future. Watch this space.

I’m going to have to ask you all to bear with me this week. Our B&B guests are all on holiday and are in NO rush to get up for breakfast. Some even strolling in as late as 09h30 looking for a meal. So if you like my undivided attention, this would not be a good week for you to come and scrap as I might be rushing between the two. There is even the faint possibility that I get confused and give you the fried eggs and bacon and toss a packet of brads at some poor Norwegian.

This week’s evening class is on Thursday 24th. Booking is essential. Do hope you can make it.

Got some new Fab Scraps papers in – lovely they are too. I’ve had a sneak preview of what they’re launching next month and it looks fabby dabby. For those of you who were waiting for the African range, that’s now in so you’re welcome to come along and do the Wild Times page if you prefer. Also got a sneak peak at the Art From The Heart range for next month – really great. I’m just loving all this local paper.

Don’t forget to blow your vuvuzela (or voo voo sailor as my Canadian friend called them) for Bafana Bafana. This is our LAST chance. I thought it was a bleeding disgrace the way the supporters left the stadium before the end of the game. What an insult to Uruguay!! Makes me feel a bit ashamed when I see that kind of thing.

Blessings to you all and happy scrapping.
Regards
Alison

I thought I’d end with this bit about how times they have a’changed…..

SCHOOL 1979 vs. 2009
Scenario: Jimmy and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1979 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Jimmy and Mark shake hands and end up friends.
2009 - Police called, arrest Jimmy and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Jimmy started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programs.

Scenario: Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1979 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for attention-deficit disorder . Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario : Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1979 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario : Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1979 - Mark gets glass of water from teacher to take aspirin with.
2009 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Parents car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario : Muhammed fails O-Level English.
1979 - Muhammed has additional English lessons, passes and goes to college.
2009 - Muhammed's cause is taken up by Parliament. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that Muslims believe teaching English is racist. Lawsuit filed against school system and Muhammed's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Muhammed given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario : Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from November 11th, puts them in a bottle, blows up an ants nest.
1979 - Ants die.
2009- Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Anti-terrorism Squad investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario : Johnny falls while running during play time and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1979 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

2010-06-10T00:30:00.000-07:00

Sawubona!! Howzit!! Môre!!

Let the Beautiful Game begin…….. Yeehaaaaaa!

Well we sure did have a full and fun filled day with our card making Soup and Slippers day on Tuesday 8th. I don’t think any of us have EVER seen the table in quite such a state of disarray! And it rained all day which is to me the best snuggy weather to scrap in. We’re definitely going to do more full day events – it really was great fun.

Here’s a brief summary of what’s happening in the next week:

Tuesday 15th: Another card Slippers and Soup day by popular demand with one or two people scrapping instead. 09h30 – 16h00

Wednesday 16th : Closed for Youth Day (what the heck am I going to celebrate – maybe “Young At Heart Day”?)
This means that the evening class will now be on Thursday 17 not Wednesday 16. Please do book as I’ll go to my mosaic workshop at 17h00 if there are not takers

Thursday 17th: Just a happy scrappy day. 09h30 – 12h30

Friday 18th: Kids Card Class. Rikki and I will be doing a fabulous Kids Card Class (was going to be a whole day event but I came to my senses in the nick of time!). This workshop is not suitable for kids under 8 as some of the cards are a bit intricate. Cost is R120.00 including all supplies and will run from 09h00 – 12h00. Please send them along with a drink and snack. Plus a ruler, pencil, scissors and Pritt glue. Booking is essential.

For those of you who wish to scrap next week, the page is a lovely Tracey Schimper layout. It’s in lovely bright lime, yellow, red, light blue colours and is suitable for a variety of themes. The requirements are:

Materials required but not supplied
- Dark brown liquid chalk
- Olive Green Pastel liquid chalk
- Brown acid free journaling pen
- Pop dots- Corner rounder punch
- Eyelet punch to create holes for the file fastener
- Stapler and staples
Photographs:
NOTE: The photos specified below are those immediately visible on the layout. Additional photos may be included in the booklet if desired. Tracy has lightly sanded the edges of all her photos using medium-grit sandpaper – this is optional
- 1 x (15cm x 20cm) portrait (vertical) photo (6 inch X 8 inch)
- 3 x (7.5cm x 10cm) portrait (vertical) photos
- 2 x (10cm x 15cm) portrait (vertical) photos – cropped to (7.5cm x 15cm)
- 2 x (7.5cm x 10cm) landscape (horizontal) photos – round the corners
- 1 x (7.5cm x 10cm) photo – cropped to (6cm x 6cm) – suitable to fit into a “frame”

I know it’s been done before, but Wednesday 23rd will be a Colour Blocking workshop by request. This to me is still one of the best ways to put loads of different pics on a page.

That’s it for this week. Wishing you all a fun filled and safe World Cup. The country’s gone mal!! Do join in.
Regards
Alison

I’ll end with this sad little poem by Pam Ayres (really moved me as I could feel myself relating to it)

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old Dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits..

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

Fever!

2010-06-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

Whoop Whoop!!

Can you feel it girls? Soccer fever is HERE! I’ve been having what I call “the warm fuzzies” all week - so much positive stuff happening. What a wonderful time to be in South Africa, and indeed, to be a South African. Please do join me in giving all the visitors to our shores a warm welcome so that they leave here with loads of positive feedback about our stunning country and not the usual bad news stories the press so love to spread.

So, as you know, with the schools breaking up next week, we’ve decided to have our Soup & Slippers Card Marathon on Wednesday as so many of you are going to be tied up with kids. This is going to be a lovely chilled day just making cards with all our old scrap paper and embellishments. Please do wear your old track suit and slippers. We’ll be stopping for a delish drop of soup with some crusty bread. And as has been said, if you don’t want to do cards, you’re welcome to join us for a “page finishing” session (yes, those gazillion unfinished pages we’re all sitting with). You can also just come along and scrap if you like.
I’ll be open on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday as usual for scrapping – come along with your pic and we can do a missed layout or make something up.

Now you might think that all this card stuff means that I’ve been snoozing in the scrapping department. Not so. I been a busy little worker bee. The following week’s page is a Tracy Schimper page using her lovely Fizz Pop, Lime Juice and Lemon Twist papers. Lovely bright paper, perfect for kids. I’ll be sending out the requirements for that next week (not on Friday, that’s when I’ll be leaping around blowing my vuvuzela).

Lovely to have Melanie here as a guest teacher – such a fabulous page although we all looked like dancers from Teazers afterwards with all that glitter. Thanks Mel.

Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 10th.
My scrapping mojos back big time with LOADS of page ideas floating around the right side of my brain – I just need to get them translated onto paper.
Anyhows, I know its school holidays but I’m hoping some of you are still going to be able to snuck off for a bit of scrapping therapy.
All that’s left to say is….. GO South Africa!! Go Bafana Bafana!! The country is going to ROCK!!
(I love the enthusiasm of the guy in the attachment!)

Take care, happy scrapping and a HAPPY & SAFE World Cup.
Kind regards

2010-05-29T02:16:00.000-07:00

Guten Tag!

German obviously and if you hear some poor bugger shouting “Hilfe!” it’s probably some poor lost German tourist looking for “help” in which case you step in and do your civic duty (which in South Africa usually means taking him home for a braai and a few Klippies and coke before putting him on the right track). I’m really starting to feel the buzz. Aren’t you? I’m just LOVING all the flags on the cars flapping in the wind. I obviously had to buy Phil a Pommy one but I’ve balanced it with a South African flag out the other window for fear of him been stoned.

Well here’s a first in my little home studio: I have a GUEST TEACHER this week on Wednesday. Yes, Melanie will be coming in to do her Ooh La La page. You know the black and white Fab Scraps range I showed y’all? That’s what she’s used. It’s a really lovely page incorporating a fabulous shaker box, glittered title and taffeta. She’s done it of her daughters dance pictures and has introduced pink card stock and pink beads (inside the shaker box) to complement the pink in the pictures but you could bring in any other colour you like. This page would work fabulously well with a variety of themes – from formal dance picture, wedding pictures to family shots. I also think it would look stunning with black and white pictures. You need:
4 jumbo landscape
2 (2up) portrait.
I’m hoping to be able to send you a pic of the page before Wednesday but if I don’t, I can assure you this page won’t disappoint. You need to bring your own beads or you can add them to your shaker box at a later stage.

Well, after that rush on the African Contrasts range, I’ve had to order more which should be in some time after the 7th. I’ve also ordered more of that fabulous pink and green range from Fab Scraps which some of you missed out on or want to do another page using the same paper. Do let me know if I must keep you a pack.

Next week’s evening class will be on Wednesday 2nd at 18h00 (or 18h30 as some of you seem to prefer). Please book.

Some of you have indicated that you might not be able to do too much scrapping during the holidays (when personally I think you need it most!) so we’ve decided to do a whole day of card making on Wednesday 9th. The idea is to bring along all your old co-coordinating scraps and left over bits and bobs and I’ll put out loads of stamps, embossing templates, ribbon etc and we just make gazillions of cards. I’ve been making lots of little mini cards which has been great fun. This will be an all day affair with a break for soup and crusty bread at lunch time. You are required to wear slippers and preferably a track suite or something comfy. And most importantly, something that shows where your alligence lies for the World Cup (hat, flag, face paint or whatever) If card making doesn’t blow your hair back, you’re welcome to come along and just scrap (and stay for soup or not). Please book for this so I know how many lentils to start counting out for the soup. Cost is R35.00 including lunch.

I was going to run the Comrades but my legs were wobbly before I had even made it to my car. Good luck to all of those of you who are undertaking this big run.

That’s my bundle for this week. Take care and happy scrapping.
Regards
Alison

I thought I’d end with these wise words from Bill Gates……..

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things he did not and you will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life!
Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Wild Times

2010-05-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Bonjour mes Belles Dames!
(that froggy language)

This newsletter come to you a day or two early because I’m off to Clarens for the weekend. Somewhere I’ve been dying to go to for ages. I’m nearly overcome with the excitement of finally going. I feel awful that I’ve turned so many of you away for Saturday – so sorry but I’m also a much nicer person if I have the odd break.

Next week’s page is “Wild Times” and has a {huge} number of photos and I do mean {HUGE}. Now, I do know that some of despise having booklets on your page so the good news is that you don’t HAVE to do the booklet – you would put pictures where I’ve done the cover and dispense with the rest. I’ve designed this page specifically for game park pictures (hence the massive number of photo’s – I’m one of those people who has to photograph the animal from four angels just to make sure I got the shot!) but it can easily be adapted to any theme buy changing the paper. I’ve used the Fab Scrap “African Contrasts” range (see attached) which has worked brilliantly if I say so myself. Some of you might also not want to make the booklet as thick as I have so this can also be reduced.
With this in mind, I’ve broken down the picture requirements page by page so that you can decide how big you want to go (with a summary of the total pictures at the end)
Page 1
Booklet cover: 3 (2up) landscape (10cm x 7.5cm)
Inside cover: 1 jumbo landscape (cropped to 10 ½ x 10cm)
Page 1: 1 jumbo portrait
2 (2up) landscape
Page 2: 3 (2up) landscape
Page 3: 1 jumbo portrait
1 (2up) landscape
Page 4: 2 jumbo landscape
1 (2up) landscape
Page 5: 3 (2up) landscape
Page 6: 3 (2up) landscape
Base 2 (2up) landscape
Page 2
4 (2up) landscape
4 (4up) landscape (7.5cm x 5cm)

Summary:
Jumbo Landscape: 3
Jumbo Portrait 2
2 ups Landscape 22
4 ups Landscape 4

If you want the page to look like mine, you’d need to bring the exact same pictures for the booklet cover and page 2. However, for the inside of the booklet, you can use any combination of jumbo, 2up or 4 up that you like (you can even just chop up all those gazillion jumbo’s you’re sitting with instead of printing specifically)
Now, the booklet made this all quite heavy so I’ve adhered the base page to a piece of cardboard and then put the booklet on with a paper fastener right through the board. You’ll need to bring along a piece of firm 12 x 12 board plus a paper fastener (of which I’m afraid I don’t have stock).
I also heat embossed the “Wild Times” title and the chipboard filmstrip. Please feel free to bring your own embossing powder or you can use mine for a small extra charge. You also need an ink pad for the embossing.
I’ve still got to put the finishing touches to the page – if I get time I’ll send out the picture.
Shucks! You might like to go and have a little lie down after reading all that.

Next week’s evening class will be on Thursday 26th. Please make sure to book.

I just have to end with this little letter to Truworths from Sipho which I thought was too funny for words……. I just loved the ending.

LETTER TO TRUWORTHS IN JOHANNESBURG

Dear Sir/Madam

I acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 7 August 2009 in which for the 3rd time, you request that I pay the monies owed to you. I first want you to know that by no means do I dispute my debt and I intend to pay as soon as possible.

However I would like to bring to your attention that you are not my only creditor. I have many more creditors, quite as honourable and important as you, and whom I wish to pay too. That is why, each month, I throw all the names of my creditors into a hat and draw one randomly. The one drawn is paid immediately. I hope that yours will come out shortly..

Sincerely Yours,
Sipho

PS: I regret to inform you that given the harsh and threatening tone of your last letter, you will not be taking part in the next three draws.

Have a great and splendid weekend!
Best Regards
Alison

Oh So Cute!

2010-05-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

G’day Sheilas!

I’ll get straight to the point…..
Next week’s page is one designed by Di Gar and lovely it is too. I’ve called mine “Oh So Cute”. The paper is the Kaiser Craft La Di Da range and has a lovely fresh and clean look to it and it ideally suited to a young person but I don’t see why it can’t really be adapted to any age really. See attached.
The pictures are 4 jumbo which I chopped down to: 1 (10 x 11) cm / 2 (9 x 9) cm / 1 (9 x 10) cm and two 4 up’s. I did my photos slightly differently to Di. I’ll show you her layout when you arrive. She used 4 jumbo portrait trimmed down.

The next evening class is on Wednesday 19th at 18h00. I was going to do a Thursday 20th evening class as well but I completely forgot its Bee’s card class at the Pigeon Racing Club at 17h30. Sorry girls, we’ll have to wait until the following Thursday.

Loads of delicious new stock in. Do pop in for a peek.
My fingers are covered in ink and grunge as I’ve just been to a really interesting product knowledge day. Used lots of fabulous inks, embossing, smooching, dabbers etc which I hope to incorporate some time soon into our scrapping.

I don’t much feel like talking today so I’ll keep it short.
I leave you with this little neurological test which I hope you all pass.
Take care, blessings to you all and have a marvelous weekend.
Regards
Alison

Les & Jess

2010-05-08T02:02:00.000-07:00

Hola Senoritas!
(Spanish)

Well, that’s another week flashed on by.
I’m dealing with something of a catastrophe! – water got into my “work in progress” box (some of which dates back to the time of cholera). All the boxes are covered in a layer of mould with which I could start my own penicillin dispensary. These are all incomplete works from various workshops I’ve attended over the years at great expense and every year I vow to complete them. Perhaps they have always been destined for the bin.

This week’s page: “Les and Jess” requires a mere 8 (8cm x 8cm) pics. I’ve used the Fab Scraps Urban Chic range which would look stunning with sepia or black and white pics although I’ve used colour. The shades are pink, limy green and brown which works well for a more feminine page but I’ve worked out that by just changing the background paper you can get a totally different more neutral look. (I’ve attached a pic of the paper). Can be of any theme.

Cappuccino coffee is back in stock!! Oh yes. This can be administered either directly into the vein or in a nice cup. Your call.

This week’s evening class will be on Thursday 13th at 18h00.
Bee’s next card class will be on Thursday 20th at 17h30.
Please note that there will be no Thursday morning classes for the foreseeable future as I’m doing clay and mosaic work on Thursdays (and loving it!)

Why of why do the suppliers show me fabulous new stock right on top of an event? I’ve just ordered some great mini chipboard “Mother” albums which would have made a magnificent Mothers Day gift. But we’ve been left with very little time to do it – unless you’re one of those speedy scrappers (like you Ash). I’ll have the stock in on Monday if you’re interested. I’ve ordered the “Dad” one which we can look at doing for Fathers Day.
On Monday, I’ll also have in stock metal rulers, some great new chipboard words and shapes at excellent prices, the new Fab Scrap range of paper, the new Art From The Heart papers I was telling you about and more.
I’ve had a good look at the Fab Scrap leather album and I have to say it does look rather fabulous - a bit pricier than some but I do think when it comes to albums you get what you pay for. I’ve ordered one for you to take a look at.

Here’s a date to diarize: The Ballito Prawn Festival 2 – 4 July. Loads of activities, jazz, goodies to buy and treats to eat. Well worth a visit. I’ll remind you closer to the time.
And don’t forget the Discovery Big Walk on Sunday 23 May – go on, get out there in the fresh air.
That’s about wraps it up. Happy scrapping days to you all.

Best regards
Alison

More Buddies

2010-05-02T04:27:00.000-07:00

An nyoung ha she yo!

Well, that’s Korean for Hello (pronounced AnYOH HASHim-ni-koh). How will we ever learn this in time for the World Cup? I’m actually now terrified of bumping into a Korean.

So sorry girls but this week has flow by like an out of control meteor. Hence no new page this week (for shame!!!). I’ve dug out an oldie that I don’t think many of you have done. It’s called “More Buddies” and you require:
8 landscape jumbo (don’t pitch with portrait – it’s not going to work)
Then six tucked away easily accessible tags (approx 7.5 x 9cm) on which you can put little pics, journaling, rub ons or what have you.
Can be of absolutely any theme. You can also just come along for a scrap and chat or catch up on a missed page if you prefer.
Sorry about this but I promise to have something fabulous for next week.

I’ve had a sneak peak at the latest Art From The Heart papers and can’t wait to get my hot scrapping paws on them. I think, like me, you’re going to like. I’ll have them in stock after the 11th (I’ll try to remember to post a pic of the papers)
I’ve ordered some Stazon ink pads – absolutely indispensable to any craft bag. I must mention that I’ve been using my Stazon pad (along with everyone and his canary in the studio) for about 4 years and it’s STILL going strong. And it does Staz On. On anything. Glass, paper, transparency etc. Tombo glue coming in on the same plane, as is Dazzles and some new brads.

In a moment of madness and egged on by my dear friend Rikki, we’ve decided we’re going to do some Kiddies Craft Classes during that awfully long June/July holiday. This is a wonderful opportunity to use us as a cheap baby sitting service while you get on with the more important things in life (lunch, tennis coaching, bridge etc). Please let me know if you’d be interested in these workshops.

That my bundle for this week – short and (a bit) sweet.

Take care of yourselves and happy scrapping.
Annyeon!! (the friendly form of ”goodbye” in Korean as opposed to the formal Annyeonghi gadeyo – good grief!).
Alison

Ray's World

2010-04-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

Konnichiha!

Yep, I'm learning to say HELLO!! in all the languages so I can extend a warm welcome to all the football crazy supporters soon to flood our lovely land. For those of you not quite as far ahead as me in the language stakes, Konnichiha (con-nee-chi-ha) is Japanese for hello. Do use it.

Well done to all of you who tackled this week's Baby page despite my very incomplete sample. You make me proud. I'm hoping to finish mine this weekend.

Next week's page is "Ray's World" and I've used one of the lovely shabby ranges from Fab Scraps. You require:
8 x 2up Portrait (7.5 x 10cm). No easy task to find this number of portrait pics so alternatively you could cut jumbo landscape pics into 7.5 x 10cm
4 x 4up Landscape (7.5 x 5cm)
Can be of any theme using any paper range.
Oh I must mention: I've been having such fun using the "text" option to put titles directly onto my pictures using the Kodak machine at C N A. Cheaper than rub ons, you can make up any word or sentence and it's just as effective. Do give it a go.

We girls were chatting this week and decided we need to do a page of ourselves scrapping. After all, this is a big part of our lives. So we're all brining our cameras next week and will be taking pics of each other scrapping for a future page. Nice idea hey? Feel free to join in. Don't forget to slap on a bit of extra make-up.

Next weeks evening class will be on Thursday 29th. I know it was meant to be Wednesday but last week I was looking at the wrong month and got all deur mekaar. Now I see its book club next Wednesday. I'm not off to such a good start am I?
I'm setting myself Free(dom) on Tuesday 27th so will be closed for business.

That's all folks. For those of you taking a long weekend, have a good one.
Stay safe and happy scrapping. (I'm luuuving this cooler weather!)
Kind regards
Alison

Baby Page

2010-04-16T03:12:00.000-07:00

Ola Scrappers!

I have spent the entire week spring cleaning the studio. All I can say is thank the lordy dirt doesn’t kill. Jeez Louise, talk about dust and dirt. Took me about two hours just to clean the Scrap Patch. So no need to give me the lazy eye anymore when you touch the stock. Your fingertips should no longer change colour.

I don’t have a picture of next week’s page or even a sample of the paper mainly cos I haven’t done it yet. It’s one of Maryna from Occasion’s pages which I’ll be doing at my Monday teacher’s workshop. However, I can tell you that it is a Baby Page and you require:
2 (10 x 14 cm) landscape
3 Jumbo landscape
1 Jumbo portrait
4 (4 x 6.5) either portrait or landscape
For those of you who don’t have any, or have no inclination towards baby pics, fear not: we will use other papers and McGyver the page to suite your pics.

Some great new stuff just in:
Great Fab Scrap papers including a really nice black and white range which we’re always on the hunt for, some silver (and I do mean SILVER) paper (they’ve come up with a really stunning range which would be particularly fabulous for card making). And a lovely range of African style paper suitable for all those game park pics, amongst others.
A really nifty self healing mat that is square – just larger than a 12 x 12 sheet of paper and best of all, it has ½ cm measures as well as centimeter lines and nifty lines for cutting diagonals.
Great craft knives with a handy grip plus Stanley knives
Double sided tape, new chalk inks, pearls etc

Now, regarding the Wednesday / Thursday evening classes: As in real life, there was no happy consensus with some people preferring a Thursday and some a Wednesday. So, in a bid to please all, I’ve decided that we’d give this a go:
1st Wednesday of the month
2nd Thursday of the month
3rd Thursday – Bee’s card class (ie no scrapping)
4th Thursday of the month
Most evening scrappers only come once, maybe twice a month so this hopefully will suit you all. If the attendance is low, I’ll make it just one Wednesday and one Thursday a month. I’ll remind you which evening it is in each newsletter. Next evening class will be Thursday 22nd.

Please note that workshops are charged per layout and not per visit (I still have the cheapest workshop rate in town. In fact I’m still charging what I charged in 2003!!). So you’re welcome to do more than one workshop per session but the charge will be per layout. You’re also welcome to photograph a layout to do a home but this will be charged for. I’m more than happy to email instructions and send a pic of the layout.
Could I ask you to please collect stock that you’ve asked me to put aside as soon as possible – I sometimes sit with stuff for months. Alternatively, you can pay upfront and I’ll be happy to bring it to you in the old age home.
I’d be so grateful if you would return the plastic sleeves the paper kits come in if you have a stash of them at home. I like to recycle and it saves me a bit of money.

A very happy birthday to you Alanna for your birthday on the 20th from all of us – may you have a bright, sunny and blessed day and many more to come.

That’s all folks. Hope to see you for some therapy some time soon. Take care and blessings to you all,
Regards
Alison

My apologies in advance if the following offends anyone but I thought it was kind of funny:

THE TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY WHEN THE USE OF THE ~ F ~ WORD WAS APPROPRIATE: -

1. "'SCATTERED F*****G SHOWERS' my ass!"
~ Noah, 4314BC

2. "HOW THE F**K DID YOU WORK THAT OUT?"
~ Pythagoras, 126 BC

3. "YOU WANT WHAT ON THE F*****G CEILING?"
~ Michelangelo, 1566

4. "WHERE DID ALL THOSE F*****G INDIANS COME FROM?"
~ Custer, 1877

5. "IT DOES SO F******G LOOK LIKE HER!"
~ Picasso, 1926

6. "WHERE THE F**K ARE WE?"
~ Amelia Earhart, 1937

7. "ANY F*****G IDIOT COULD UNDERSTAND THAT!"
~ Albert Einstein, 1938

8. "WHAT THE F**K WAS THAT?"
~ The Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "I NEED THIS PARADE LIKE I NEED A F*****G HOLE IN THE HEAD"
~ J F Kennedy, 1963

10. "AWWW, C'MON .... WHO THE F**K IS GOING TO FIND OUT?"
~ Bill Clinton

2010-04-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

Greetings!
I guess like me you’re all doing double time on the treadmill following the Easter Pigout. Why oh why can’t I exercise a little restraint? Why so many Easter eggs? I’m finding just looking at anything oval shaped right now is making me vomit a little into my mouth.

So, what do we have this week? We’ll with my “Jem and Morgan” page I seem to have backtracked to my sepia phase using the Keiser Craft range. I’ve attached a pic of the paper but it absolutely does not do justice to the paper. It really is quite lovely and looks fabby dabby with sepia pics. However, this layout can be adapted to use any paper and any theme – so you can really brighten it up. The photo’s required are:
1 jumbo portrait (cropped to fit into the lovely frame)
4 jumbo cropped to about 9 x 9 cm
4 (2 up’s – ie 2 pictures printed onto on jumbo)

I’ve had a few requests to change the evening class from Thursday to Wednesday and from 18h30 to 19h00. This is fine by me except for the last Wednesday of the month when I have book club. This I cannot miss. It’s really what keeps me just slightly unhinged as opposed to totally unhinged. I’m also thinking of only doing the evening class on the first and third Wednesday of the month. Any comments? Can we give this a go from Wednesday 21st and see how we get on?

I’m getting some really nice new Fab Scrap stock in soon and I finally got the long awaited MM Sanding Blocks in but these are already nearly sold out. I’ll order more. Bone folders are in (@ R62.00 which strikes me as pricey but they are so indispensable especially for the card makers.

And talking about cards, Bee’s next card class is on Thursday 15th at the Pigeon Racing Club @ 17h30. I know lots of people feel making cards is a waste of time and effort but it’s a really lekker way to use up your scraps and there’s something rather therapeutic about sitting around with a group of gals, making cards and solving the worlds problems.
(OK – that might be stretching it, more like solving a few minor problems like how to remove bubblegum from hair).

That’s my bundle for this week. Hope to see you some time soon.
Stay happy. Be blessed. (and pray for our beloved country in these troubled times)

Best regards

I’ll end with this little bit about Mothers. I just love it! Hope you do too…..

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is, "explained the recorder,"do you have a job or are you just a ...?"
"Of course I have a job, "snapped the woman.
"I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myselfin the same situation,
this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman,
poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was writtenin bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
The job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
but the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.

"There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."

Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Most Beautiful Girl

2010-03-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

Helloooo there!

When last did you see an ugs pic of a kid? Seriously? And I mean seriously? Even when they’re pulling a weird face they still manage to look adorable. I take pics of myself (and sorry, some of my “mature” friends are going to hate me for this, but them too) and my delete finger is going numb. And I’m having to turn the half way decent ones into sepia or black and white which is a bit more forgiving. That’s why I so enjoyed doing this weeks page of Emma, my sister grand child. Of course, as surrogate granny, I know I’m biased but she just looks so beautiful in EVERY picture. And lets face it, how nice is it to scrap with beautiful pictures.

After a spate of brownish blueish creamyish pages (to accommodate all those sepia shots), I decided this week to go BRIGHT (like me!) and use the latest range of Art From The Heart papers (my current favourite local paper). I’ve attached a pic of the papers – lovely don’t you think? And this time I’ve included ALL my toes in the picture as some people felt cheated last week that there were only a few toes on show.
“Who’s The Most Beautiful Girl In the World” uses quite a few picture (as instructed by Tersia). 13 pictures to be precise. You need:
Either one jumbo landscape or two jumbo portrait.
10 (6.5 x 6.5) pictures (I took 2 up’s – two pictures on one jumbo – and cropped them)
1 jumbo landscape.
It can be of any theme and coloured pictures would work well too.

I don’t suppose anyone’s seen my Becky Higgins Sketches Vol. 1? I so miss it.
I won’t be doing a new page for the week after next but we can play catch up or scrap ‘n chat.

Having said that, I won’t be sending out a newsletter until after the Easter Weekend either so I’d like to wish y’all a wonderful Easter and a blessed Pasach to all my Jewish customers. Remember you’ll pay for all those eggs you eat! Stay safe.
(Psssst: you know I post my newsletter onto my blog? Please feel free to leave a comment on the blog. It’s looking very sad with no comments on it)

Kind regards
Alison

I leave you with a few lines to make you smile:

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
16. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17. Procrastinate Now!
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Appreciate every single thing you have,
especially your friends...!
Life is too short and friends are too few...!

2010-03-21T03:59:00.000-07:00

Howdy Doody
Don’t you think it would be horrid to live in a world without seasons? I find towards the end of summer I’m kind of looking forward to getting snugly and then towards the end of winter, I’m rearing to get out and get a bit sun on my back and colour on my cheeks. So now roll on winter.

Anyhows, I digress: this week’s page is….. ummm, The Page With No Name. You see, I’ve made it up but without pics (hence no title either). I’ve used the Kaiser Craft range (see attached) which is currently one of my fave paper ranges. I think the papers lend themselves towards sepia pics, possibly with a bit of a heritage feel but I don’t see why you can’t use colour and any pics that take your fancy. You will need:
1 A5 landscape (half an A4, 20cm x 15cm)
3 (2up’s, 10cm x 7.5) landscape
1 jumbo – portrait

Workshops are on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday morning 09h30 – 12h30 and Thursday evening 18h00 – 21h00 unless otherwise stated. And still the cheapest workshops in town.

Sadly, I have absolutely no news this week. There is an ancient Chinese curse that goes “May you live in interesting times” so maybe it’s just as well.
When phoning me on my land line, I’d be grateful if you’d use my new Vox line instead: 087 802 9718. It won’t cost you any more than the Telkom line.

I’ll end with this bit of a fun – nothing more enjoyable than an intelligent insult…..

When Insults Had Class ...
Glorious insults from an era when 4 letter words were not used in public!

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
Disraeli: "That depends, Sir, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde "

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without an address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Take care and happy scrapping!

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-11T04:54:00.000-08:00

Hi there ladies
I’m starting to feel a bit of Soccer World Cup buzz around town. I’ve decided to go big: flag attached to my car, Bafana Bafana T-shirt, learn the Diski, miner’s hat with horns – the whole enchilada. I think we’re in for a bit of fun!

So, this week’s page is “Home Sweet Home”. I’ve done this cos I so often think back to my childhood home and wish there were more pictures of it. And sadly, with so many people emigrating, it might be a nice page to put in your kids albums for them to look back on. Or just because, like me, memory fades with age!
The requirements are:
1 A5 landscape – cut to 18.5 x 15 cm
2 (2up’s) portrait – 7.5 x 9.5
1 (2up) landscape – cut to roughly 8.5 x 8.5
4 (4up’s) landscape - 7.5 x 5
(I’ve made a little booklet behind my 2 up landscape so if you wish to do the same you can bring 6 or so extra 2 up’s for this. Also cut to 8.5 x 8.5)
You also need: a sanding block, 3 white brads, 2 orange buttons and brown chalk ink.

Thanks so much to you girls who gave so generously to CANSA. It was so appreciated by the association.

Don’t forget you can still book for Bee’s card class this coming Thursday 18th at the Racing Pigeon Club at 17h30.

Someone seems to have inadvertently walked off with my favourite, most used, most popular punch. It’s the Creative Memories one with the two smaller circles. This punch got used in almost every second workshop so I’d be so grateful to get it back. It clearly has my name on it.
Otherwise, not much in the way of news. Hope to see you some time soon for a little scrapping and some fellowship.

Kind regards

Don’t read this if you don’t wish to but I thought with the World Cup around the corner, it’s a good time to remind ourselves of our rather unique Souf Efriken English!

Understanding South Africans

Braai
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa. A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance known as pap (pronounced “pup”).
Ag
This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation: "Ag OK, I'll have some more pap then" It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation.
Donner
A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby team can get “donnered” in a game, or your wife can donner you if you come back from a braai at three in the morning.
Eina
Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah". You can say it in sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by his wife.
Hey
Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasise the importance of what has just been said, as in "You're going to get donnered if you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as a question. Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" when you have not heard something directed at you, you can always say: "Hey?"
Izit?
This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying: "Izit?"
Jawelnofine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words: ja means"yes"and is pronounced YA, "well", "no" and “fine", it roughly means "OK". If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence, say: "Jawelnofine."
Lekker
An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly, you can say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last syllable.
Klap
Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank. If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time, you could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America , that is called child abuse. In South Africa , it is called promoting education. But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.
Bakkie
This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to a small truck or pick-up. If a young man takes his "girl" (date) in a bakkie it could be considered as a not so "lekker" form of transport if the seats can't recline.
Tackies
These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are really wide tyres, as in: "You've got lekker fat tackies on your bakkie, hey?"
Dop
Pronounced “dorp” this word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner. When invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail. If you "dopped" standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't be reading this.
Saamie
This is a sandwich. For generations, school- children have traded "saamies" during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don't send your kid to school with polony saamies. They are impossible to trade.
Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word "Yes!" as in: "Yes, howzit?". In which case you answer "No, fine."
Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase: "Now now, it's really not so bad." But in South Africa , this phrase is used in the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there now now." It means: soon.
Just now
This means “in a while” South Africans know the clear distinction of now now and just now but it’s almost impossible to impart this knowledge exactly without being one yourself.
So long
So long does not necessarily mean “good-bye” in South Africa - even though it can be used as good-bye when in context. When we go to restaurants, we often tell the waiter that we will order starters so long and mains after that, so long means “in the meantime”
Tune grief
To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had too much dop (is a little "geklap"), he might easily get aggravated and say.: "You're tuning me grief, hey!" To continue the argument after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..
Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all language groups. Pronounced "boot" but shorter, as in "foot", it can be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance a father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie" is used. But don't use it on someone you hardly know - it will be thought patronizing and could lead to you getting a "lekker klap".
Skop, Skiet en donner
Literally "kick, shoot and thunder", this phrase is used by many South African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is always a good choice if you're in the mood for of a lekker skop, skiet en donner flick.
Vrot
Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed "vrot" by some unfortunate folk which find themselves in the same vicinity as the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles can be said to have played a vrot game - opposite to a "lekker" game(but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline: "Slick Flick, Vrot Plot."
Could also be used as an expression" I got vrot last night" (drunk)
Scale
To scale something is to steal it. A person who is "scaly" has a doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left off the invitation list to your next braai.
Ja-nee
"Yes No" in English. Politics in South Africa has always been associated with family arguments and in some cases even with physical fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a family member who didn't want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just every now and then muttered "ja-nee". Use it when you are required to respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.
So, there you have it - South Africanisms 101!

1st Week of March

2010-03-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

Hi there girls
Well that’s my mosaic course over with and what a course it was! I did it with Jane du Rand who has to be SA’s foremost mosaic artist - such a stunning and knowlegible lady. And just so generous with her knowledge. Anyway, I learned LOADS and am all fired up to go mosaic ballistic! I’ll put a few pics on my blog.

This week’s page requires:
2 jumbo landscape
1 jumbo portrait
3 (2 ups) landscape
2 (4 ups) portrait.
The paper is the new Kaiser Craft range in stunning blues and browns so sepia pics would look fabulous. It has a number of flowers on so perhaps don’t bring pics of your husband doing the Duzi.
Lots of other really nice papers are in so do pop in for a peek. Some more papers have been tossed into the R3.00 sale basket.

For those of you who missed Bee’s Card Class….. sorry for you! It sure was a fun evening. But stop, don’t weep – there’s another one on Thursday 18th. It’s such a great way to use up all your old paper and embellishment scraps, is very therapeutic and there is nothing quite like giving someone a beautiful home made card (I personally don’t give a toss if they then toss it). And Bee really does have some great card making ideas. Why not join us on Thursday 18th at the Pigeon Racing Club at 17h30? You can email Bee directly on bee.hellerle@gmail.com.

Don’t forget we have Greyville to look forward to this month. 11th – 13th. They seem to have attracted a few new stands so hopefully it won’t be too much of the same old same old.

For those of you who have and are still so kindly going to make a donation to CANSA or purchase a Luminaria Bag – I omitted to mention that when doing a deposit, under reference please put “LUM 00748”. This is such a worthy course so please dig deep into your pockets and do consider joining in the festivities on Saturday 13th.

That’s my bundle for this week…. All that’s left to say is……..
I’m too blessed to be stressed. Too anointed to be disappointed.
Take care and happy scrapping
Kind regards
Alison

Love Is In The Air

2010-02-15T07:07:00.000-08:00

Hello Peeps.

I’m writing this from my winter apartment in Salzburg, Austria over looking the Salzach River, watching the snow gently drifting down, warm sox on, hot chocolate by my side. Well that’s my fantasy at any rate – the reality is that I’m actually sitting here sweltering in my stuffy studio, fan blowing all my papers hither and yon, doing little in the way of cooling me down, rivulets of sweat trickling down my back…… Still, I mustn’t moan.

So now, this being the month of LOVE we have our little Ode to Love mini book. This is made with ONE sheet of cardstock, measuring 7.5 x 7.5 cm. How nifty is that? It comes in kit form for R85.00 (golly, you can hardly get a pair of flip flops for that). It’s got all the bits and bobs you need for it – paper, embellishments, words etc. I’ve attached a few of the mini pages for you to peruse. I did mine on different couples but you could really do it on any love theme. If this holds no appeal, come along anyway and we can play.
Unfortunately (well for you maybe but not me) I’m off to do a week long mosaic course from the 22 – 26 Feb so sadly there will be no workshops. Sorry about that but I’m so excited I’m counting the sleeps.

Lovely new Keiser papers have arrived along with a bit of Making Memories, Imagenisce and Basic Grey. Also (about time!) double sided tape, tombo glue, chalk inks etc. I promise to have a lovely new page ready for right after my mosaic course, using the lovely new papers.

I’m not sure if I’ve told you that Rikki and I make Koolitz Cool Ties. You soak them in water, they swell up, you pat off the excess water and wear it around your neck. You’ll be amazed at how effective it is – great for all heat inducing activities from gardening to playing sport or even cos you’re menopausal. Let me know if you’d be interested in more info – we’ve had a fabulous response to them.

Happy scrapping until we meet again.
Kind regards
Alison

Nothing I like more than a clever play with words, so to end, I leave you with this…….. Enjoy.

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered..

A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

2010-01-28T05:21:00.000-08:00

This Is Me

2010-01-28T05:14:00.000-08:00

Howdy?

Man alive but this week has been a scorcher!! I was fooled into thinking we were in for a mild summer but apparently not so.

Anyhows, no matter what the weather, we still have our scrapping to look forward to. I’m pretty sure you thought I’d forgotten about the page about YOU but alas no, that’s exactly what next week’s page is. “This Is Me”. I’ll forgive you if you choose to do it on one of your kids or another family member but I do encourage you to give it a go. It sure will be a lot of fun to look back on a page like this in the years to come.
The pictures you need are:
2 jumbo landscape
4 (4 up) portrait.
Have a peek at the attachment. I haven’t filled in the info as yet but I’ll get onto in right away.
(I rather liked the paper for this page – very different)

Valentine’s Day is drawing near (I’m a bit anti all this bleeding commercialism but thought I’d best toe the line). So why not come along and do a noo noo little love book to give to your significant other? It really is a fun project. I’ll give you more details closer to the time but you’ll need 14 (4 up) pics. It will come in kit form – price to follow. Some of you did this as a Christmas project but loads of you missed it so here’s another opportunity.
Tombo glue finally arriving early next week along with some other goodies.

Can’t say I’ve heard of too much fun and exciting stuff happening in the world of scrapping. Hope things hot up as we ease into the year. Until then, scrap on!
Kind regards
Alison

This has got absolutely diddly squat to do with scrap booking but I thought some of you might find it interesting. Did any of you see Invictus? I did and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I usually go to these movies with Americans trying to do the South African accent prepared to cringe but I have to say Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon did a really credible job. Anyway, the point is that it did make me realize what an incredible man Mabida is – humble, intelligent, forgiving and how incredibly blessed this country was to have a man like him take over the helm of the New South Africa. We could have just as easily landed up with a megalomaniac like Mugabe.
I was intrigued to find out more about the poem Invictus so I googled it and this is what I found:

"Invictus" is a short poem by the English poet William Erners Henley (1849–1903). It was written in 1875 and first published in 1888 in Henley's Book of Verses, where it was the fourth in a series of poems entitled Life and Death (Echoes). It originally bore no title: early printings contained only the dedication To R. T. H. B.—a reference to Robert Thomas Hamilton Bruce (1846–1899), a successful Scottish flour merchant and baker who was also a literary patron. The familiar title "Invictus" (Latin for "unconquered") was added by Arthus Quiller-Couch when he included the poem in The Oxofrd Book of English Verse (1900)

At the age of 12, Henley became a victim of tuberculosis of the bone (och!!). A few years later the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to amputate directly below the knee. In 1867 he successfully passed the Oxford local examination as a senior student. In 1875 he wrote the "Invictus" poem from a hospital bed. Despite his disability, he survived with one foot intact and led an active life until the age of 53.
Apparently Mandela had this poem with him on Robben Island. I can quite see how and why it inspired him:

Invictus (Latin for unconquered)

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

First 2010 Scrappin

2010-01-11T23:49:00.000-08:00

Hello there!

“I gotta feeling that this years gonna be a good year
That this years gonna be a good year!”
(Sung to the tune of Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling).

Yes, here we are in 2010 – a whole new decade with lots of excitement and promise in store. I REALLY think we’re going to pull this 2010 World Cup off in spectacular fashion. I’ve made my usual resolutions, same one’s as last year (loose weight, get fit, de-clutter etc) but this year I’ve added a new one: Time Management. Yes, this year I plan to manage my time a whole lot better than I did last year (which was mainly in chicken running around with head chopped off mode). The good news for you is that hopefully this way I’ll also be able to keep on top on the scrap booking and be a bit more efficient at getting the pages out on time and getting lovely new stock in.
We kick off the year with “Christmas Morning”:
This is a lovely Tracy Shimper page using all her Art From The Heart papers. You need:
1 A4 landscape pic
4 (2 up) portrait - 7,5cm x 10cm
4 (4 up) portrait - 5cm x 7.5cm
4 (4 up) landscape - 7.5cm x 5cm

Be forewarned!! There is a page coming up that’s all about YOU! Yes, you may shudder but it’s going to happen!
The suppliers are all only just opening now so my apologies for running out of adhesives. My bad. New stock will be arriving soon.
The fabulously talented Ms Bee Smith will shortly be starting her card making classes in Durban North. Probably by the end of the month and most likely once a month on a Thursday evening. I’ll give you more details when I get them.
That’s about it for now except to say that I wish you all a year filled with love, peace, safety, tolerance and of course MEGA scrapping!
Kind regards
Alison

Read what follows if you like, might make you think twice about sniggering when someone’s trying to speak English. What a crazy language!

You think English is easy???
Read to the end...a new twist.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound .
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse .
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is'UP.'It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lockUP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UPexcuses To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special .And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP .We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takesUP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you areUP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used It will takeUP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP , so...it is time to shut UP !

Mini Brag Book

2009-12-04T03:55:00.000-08:00

Well hello there!
I’m sitting here writing this newsletter with my water wings and snorkel on. Wonder when this rain is going to let up……

So, here we sit with Christmas upon us and I thought – “why close?” So if you’re bored with nothing to do and feeling at a loose end (yeah, right, as if) or feel in dire need of a bit of scrapping therapy (more likely) or are just plain gatvol of your kids and feel the need to escape your up- country visitors for a few hours (most probably) why not rock in and spend a few happy hours scrapping?

Next week I’m going to be showing you how to make a little Mini Brag Book using just ONE sheet of cardstock. It’s just too noo-noo and makes a lovely stocking filler for Gran, Gramps, Hubby or a friend. Or just a little something special for yourself. It takes 16 (4 up) pics – that’s 4 pictures printed onto one jumbo – unless you’d like to add a bit of journaling, a poem or what have you, in which case you’d use fewer pics.

Although Wednesday 16th is a Public Holiday, I’d be delighted if you’d join me for a morning of scrapping and a bit of a Christmas tea party. You’re welcome to bring pages to finish off, do the mini album or catch up on a page that you might have missed. Please let me know if you’ll be able to come along (even if it’s just to pop in for a quick cuppa tea and a bit of fellowship).

So workshops next week will be:
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday from 09h00 to 13h00 and on Thursday evening from 18h00 – 21h00. I’m afraid there won’t be a workshop on Saturday the 19th (my apologies AGAIN) as I’m off to a wedding.
Hope to see you next week…….
Keep a happy scrappy heart!

Christmas Sale

2009-11-26T04:12:00.001-08:00

Howdy Doody!!

Shew! So here we are already, bracing ourselves for “Let It Snow, Let It Snow” in the Malls, over indulging and the terror of family get-togethers.

I’ll start off with a bit of good news: Next week on Tuesday and Wednesday I’m having a 20% off EVERYTHING sale! Yes, I’ve gone completely mad so take advantage before I come to my senses! This includes all the lovely new papers, rub on’s, die cuts etc. (doesn’t include any ForEver Memories or Craft Ed stuff I’m afraid). Do pop in for a nice bargain.

This week’s page is a lovely page of Tracy Shimper’s called “SA Will Always Be Home”. Lovely broad subject. I’m doing mine on all the beautiful spots that I love – Drakensburg, Cape, Umhlanga Lighthouse etc but you could also just do it of your home and surrounds.
The pics you need are:
1 (18 x 14) (main focal picture)
4 (8 ½ x 8 ½)
1 (5 ½ x 8 ½)
1 (5 ½ x 9 ½)
Then there is a tag booklet (Travel Log) which takes a variety of jumbos, 2 up’s and 4 up’s.

I’m hoping to do some Christmas lay outs before Christmas day so we can just add the pics afterwards.

There won’t be a workshop on Thursday 3rd as I have another product knowledge morning. The evening class will still be on though. Then I’m afraid there won’t be a class on Saturday 5th December either as I’ve booked to sell our Koolitz cool ties at Station Market. I hate to do that but I’ve gotta move those ties!
That’s my bundle for this week. Happy Scrapping! And….. as you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never be pointing the wrong way.
Take care

16 - 21 November

2009-11-13T01:59:00.000-08:00

Well hello there!
Methinks summer’s here with a vengeance. I feel it in my sweat glands. I can’t tell you how much the thought of February strikes terror in my heart. I suppose that’s the price we pay for such a stunning winter.

Now this week you have a choice of two, yes TWO pages to choose from. The reason for this is cos I finished them both in the same week.
The first one is “UK 2008” – loads of pics.
You need:
4 jumbo portrait (about a third gets chopped off)
2 jumbo portraits (slightly cropped)
2 jumbo landscape (rather radically chopped by about half)
18 (4 up’s) landscape.
Can be of any theme really.

The second choice is “Friends” and is rather stunning. I can say this as it’s not my design. I did it at my teacher’s workshop last Monday and it really is a thing of beauty. Uses the new Kaiser Crafts paper which is the new love of my life. For this page you need:
1 jumbo portrait
2 jumbo landscape
3 10 x 10 pics.
Would look particularly stunning with sepia or black and white pics. Would make a lovely family page.

You are so welcome to do both pages (not on the same day of course) – one this week if you like and one next week.
I’m just a tad stressed about my Kaiser Christmas range which has STILL not shown up in my post box. Maybe it’s the old “watched kettle” syndrome and I should stop bolting up to the post box every 20 minutes hoping to see that little collection slip. Still, it will be well worth the wait.
Now, yesterday I bought the most beautiful My Mind’s Eye paper which I’m bursting to use. Think of 7 Gypsy’s and you’ll have some idea of the paper. A complete departure from their usual style. I’m going to be packing them into the most enticing kits this arvie. Then I also got in a range of My Mind’s Eye in lovely bright colours, Kraft Cuts which I’ve never seen before and also some bright new Crate Paper (another of my favourite lines).
On Monday 23rd I’m off to make up the Advent Frame which I’ll post on my blog. It really looks fabulous. I’ve ordered a limited quantity as this is not something I want to sit with so you’ll have to spring in fast if you want one.

The studio will be closed tomorrow Saturday 14th as I’m off to the Megacrop. I’m afraid there wont be any workshops on Thursday 19th in the morning as I have a Beswick Office Product knowledge day and then in the evening I have book club which I cannot miss (you don’t understand – I LIVE for my monthly book club fix).
I’m happy to do the evening class on Wednesday if you like and Friday morning.
Next Wednesday Kim will be doing an Earth Jewelry display in the studio from 17h00 to 19h00. If you’re looking for some stunning Xmas gifts at excellent prices (think teachers pressie here) or just a little trinket for yourself for good behaviour you won’t want to miss this.
That’s my bundle for this week. Take care and happy scrapping. I’ll end with some.....
Girlie Wisdom!
1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care..
2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.7
. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers'.
10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
12.. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

2 - 6 November

2009-11-02T23:38:00.000-08:00

Hi there lovely ladies

I bet you thought from my long silence that we’ve not been up to much here at Scrapbook Junction but on the contrary, we’ve been scrapping up a storm! Just never found the time to send out my usual newsletter. Anyhows, in last weeks workshop we used the new Black Society paper with fabulous results and funnily enough, we’re using Black Society paper for this week’s page, this week’s page being Cherish / Adore. It uses only 3 pics (for a change) – 2 jumbo portrait and (1) 2 up landscape. Lovely page for anything or anyone you cherish and adore – your kids, husband, pet poodle, Manlo Blahniks or what have you. So do come and join us.

I’m hoping my new Kaiser Christmas paper will be in some time soon. Absolutely stunning stuff. I’ve found a new supplier so look out for some seriously beautiful papers.
Now, with regards Christmas workshops: remember last year we did calendars (as if some of us could forget!). Now, I’m thinking what to do this year. I’ve recently made up a small 6 x 6 family album which could make a fab gift. Otherwise, Craft-Ed have a really SUPER calendar which we could make up (for those of you who missed last year). They also have a nifty little Christmas tree which can be decorated and some really great ideas for kid’s classes – a handbag or car money box which they scrap, shaker box frames etc. Let me know if you would be interested in a kid’s class. I must say Craft Ed are coming up with some fabulous new products, try and pop in and have a look at their great new catalogue. On Monday I’m also off to do a stunning advent box from Kaiser which looks brilliant and can be stored and used year after year. It has these delightful draws in which you can hide a treat or what have you. As soon as I’ve made mine up, I’ll post a pic. I’d appreciate any feed back with regards Christmas workshops.

I’ll keep this newsletter short as I’m due to send out another one pretty soon. Take care and happy scrapping.

Had a great trip down to the Cape – does bring home what a incredible country we live in.
I’ve just been up to the Berg for a friends 50th and never went to bed on Saturday night, something I’ve not done for years. Anyway, any one of the following could have applied to me on Saturday night……..(tee hee)

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............
1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.
2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING 'WOO-HOO!' IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S BUTT AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.
5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.
6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE 'OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!'
7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.
8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEAT US BY GI VING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE CHARDONNAY.
10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop ...OR THE BATHMAT ?)
11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.
12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

And Remember...'A clean house is the sign of a wasted life!'

5 - 10 October

2009-10-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

Howdy girls

Well, that sure was one cold and wet week! My mother-in-law tells me this is NOT her idea of holiday weather and she’d be better off back in bright sunny old England.
This week’s page is…. Uh….mmm… well truth be told, there is no page this week. Time has just run away with me and I find it’s now Friday and I sit with nothing to offer you. I do have two great page ideas floating around in the right orb of my brain but that’s not much use to you now, is it? Still, no need to stay away…. Bring in a wad of pictures and we’ll do a Creativity On Tap page or look though past pages for ideas. I’ve been given another great template by Ada which I’m just dying to use. (As you see, I’m in my Template Phase right now – having worked my way through my Arrow Phase and Stitching Phase). I promise to have a great page to offer you next week.

Some of those essentials that we’re irritatingly inclined to run out of are now back in stock: double sided tape, foam core, chalk inks, self healing mats, dimension glaze and Creative Memories black journaling pens.
Remember those great tool totes (blue or pink?). Loads back in stock. Please let me know if you ordered one and never received it. Unfortunately some of these orders slip off my radar. A great buy at R195.00.
Next week I also have some great Black Market Society paper coming in – including really nice black and white papers and some more Enmarc embellishments including some really well priced flowers. Plus Tombo glue which has been out of stock with the suppliers and will hopefully arrive with my next order. I also have some chipboard embellishments from a new crowd on the block – Celebr8. Some really nice stuff. I’m hoping it won’t be long now before the absolutely stunning range of Kaiser Christmas papers arrive. Too too beautiful. There are also some new kits coming in this month. Limited numbers so let me know if you want me to keep one aside for you.

I’ve attached the ForEver Memories mini Oct/Nov catalogue for you to take a look at. I think you’ll be as stunned as I was at how AB FAB the products are!! Feast your eyes. Let me know if you would like to order anything – I’ll be putting an order in in the next week or so.
(Oooops! Was about to send the attachement but I see its 9MB!. Let me see if I can zip or compress it before I send it)

I’m off to Hermanus on the 15th until the 20th for a bit of R&R and possible debauched behaviour. Hope those whales are out in full force. Taking my new camera so am hoping for some great scrapping material.
That’s about it for this week. Have a splendid weekend. Keep it tidy.
Best regards
Alison

And in passing……..
Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a zimmer

21 - 26 September

2009-09-17T00:43:00.000-07:00

Well hello there!

Loving this bit of rain….makes me want to go dig in the garden. Now, I have to say, I’m not a big fan of templates in scrapbooking but, if well used, they can be terribly effective. I think you’d have to agree when you see the results from our “Weekend In London” workshop (the one with 36 odd pics!). Such lovely results. Of course, one of the great things with templates is that it does allow you to place loads of pictures effectively onto your page. Which as you know, I do love to do. I’ve come to realize what it is I want from scrapbooking: I want my album to be an overview of an event/happening/occasion/travel experience or what have you. In other words, I want to look at the page and have a fabulous rush of memories. It therefore becomes the memory that the pictures evoke in me that’s important rather than the quality of the picture. This is why I’m happy to crop away and print my pictures smaller. I still have the pictures on disc if I want to see them in all their enlarged glory. Which is not to say that I don’t appreciate a double page spread with say 3 stunning pictures on it, but more often than not, I want LOTS of pictures on the page. But as you know, we cater for all tastes here at the Junction.
And don’t get me started on journaling. I can’t tell you how much I think a lack of journaling on the page lessens the quality of the page. No date, no story, no anecdotes, no nothing. I see it often – for shame girls!

Having said all that, this week’s page is again using a template and takes 16 pictures. Suitable for any theme. The lovely talented Miz Linda Hutton kindly rustled up this page for me because, well frankly, I’ve had not the slightest inclination to scrap this week. And a lovely job she’s done of it too. You need an assortment of jumbo pics, landscape and portrait. You’d best bring along extras so you can play around. I’m getting my new camera on the 25th so will once again be able to take a pic of the page.

As you know, Thursday is Heritage Day so there won’t be any scrapping on that day. I’ll be scrambling around trying to find out just what exactly my heritage IS. Do have yourselves a lovely day. Talking about heritage, my maiden name was Conradie and my sister did a little research into our ancestors. Turns out that the first Conradie was a Mr Kuntz who arrived on these shores from Germany in 1662 and had the good sense to change his name to Conrady which became Conradie. I’m ever so grateful to him for the name change. I have enough crosses to bear.

Scrapkits are having a Mega Crop at Sica’s Guest House on Saturday 14 November. I’ve attached the flyer and registration form if you’d like to join them for what I’m sure will be a lovely day of scrapping. I can’t stop raving about Tracy’s new papers. It is just so great to be able to buy such fabulous quality local paper. I have all her new papers in stock so do pop in for a peek-a-boo. Talking about new papers – I went into a mild depression when I found myself sitting here ordering XMAS paper!! Can you believe? Anyhows, the depression was short lived when I saw just how stunning the Kaiser Kraft new Christmas range is. I’ll let you know as soon as the papers arrive. (Tracy’s Christmas range is also ab fab).
Tombo glue should be in some time soon for all of you so patiently waiting….

Anyone interested in a ¾ bed virtually BRAND new? R1000.00? Base and mattress. Let me know.

That’s my bundle for this week. Happy scrapping and remember…….
"Success is not final,
failure is not fatal.
It's the courage to commit that counts."
Winston Churchill

What's happening 1 - 4 September?

2009-08-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

Hi there

Yip yip – spring has sprung. I do love this time of the year. I get this uncanny urge to spring clean which is VERY strange for me as my mother-in-law would concur.

This week’s page is “Brothers” although you could make it any subject you like. Picture requirements would be:
Page 1:
9 (6 x 6). What I did was print 4 up’s and then cut them down a bit. You could also do 4 (9 x 9) if you prefer to use bigger pictures.
Page 2:
1 jumbo – cropped to (9 ½ c 9 ½)
Then there are two little fold out booklets with 3 pictures on each ie. total 6 pics. I printed 2 up’s for these and then cropped them slightly. You can just do two pictures instead of the booklet if it doesn’t take your fancy.

I’m about to put in an order for both Creative Memories and Craft-Ed so do let me know if there’s anything you’d like. I have to say the brochure does not do justice to the Craft-Ed papers which are really seriously lovely.

Rikki and I are proud and delighted to announce the arrival of our baby, Koolitz Cool Ties after a LONG and difficult labour. Viewing times will be 09h00 – 14h00 at Essenwood Market on Saturday 5th September. Donations in lieu of flowers please. (We were about to have T-shirts printed with Koolitz across the front but figured it would be just too easy to misread it as Kooltits for our liking. The name can now be found on the BACK of our T-shirts)

This unfortunately means there won’t be a workshop on the morning of Saturday 5th. Actually, neither will there be one on Thursday evening (I have a very important meeting - admittedly with friends and a bottle of wine but that still counts doesn’t it?) If you fancy a Wednesday evening, I’m happy to oblige.

Have a cool week. Remember to keep it tidy.

To end……..

A friend in Eshowe reminded me of this fabulous verse which was written by Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune in 1997 as a column which she described as a Commencement Address she would give if ever asked. It was subsequently put to music by Baz Luhrman. I just love it, so much so that I actually used the whole thing in my nieces’ 21st birthday card a couple of years back. Such great advise put across so well.. I think it would be a lovely thing to scrap. I share it here with you……

Everybody’s Free (to wear sunscreen)

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would
be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advise has no basis more
reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how
much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really
looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by
chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be
things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that
blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you’re ahead,
Sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s
only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank
statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with
your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22
what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most
interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have
children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe
you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding
anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too
much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance
so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way
you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own
living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel
ugly.

Get t know your parents, you never know when they’ll be
gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings, they are your best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few
you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in
geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you
need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you
hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it
makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old and when you do you’ll
fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a
trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse, but you never
know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it
will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those
who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a
way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting
over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

(Mary Schmich)

I forgot.......

2009-08-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

Me again…. Hello ..….

I tried to loose a kilo this week but instead I think I lost my mind - I completely forgot to mention in my news letter the fabulous new Craft-Ed products that have been released! To DIE for doll!
I’m loving the new Citrus Range and the embellishments are just too fabulous. And have a look at the La Crème range – black and cream – just stunning.
The paper packs are excellent value for money. There are usually three of each paper so lots to play around with and little chance or running out. And I can highly recommend the Card Stock Stacks – very handy to have on hand – excellent quality and great colours.
Go to www.craft-ed.co.za, then to “Buy the Latest Scrapbook Products” and then “New Arrivals” which comes in a pdf format. And while you’re at it, have a trawl around all the other amazing products on offer. I just love the photo albums which I think are fantastic value for money and of the highest quality. Craft-Ed is just getting more and more exciting as it expands its range.
Phone (082 804 7970) or email me (info@scrapbookjunction.co.za) if anything takes your fancy.
And have a splendid weekend.
Best regards

24 - 29 August 2009

2009-08-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Well hi there girls
I had an epiphany, or a rush of blood to the head, or a light bulb moment or whatever you wish to call it. I thought: why not post my weekly email to my sadly neglected blog? That way you have the choice of accessing it via email OR the blog. Then you can read it twice! So hence forth, that's where you'll find it as well as in your inbox.
This week's page is "Celebrate Life". It comes in kit form and the photo requirements are:
1 jumbo portrait
3 (9.5 x 9) cm pics.
Then there are 3 flaps that fold out to about 40 cm each in which you can put a wonderful array of photo's, journaling, quotes, memorabilia or what have you. The pictures cannot be higher than 9 cm otherwise they'll peek out and ruin the aesthetics of the page. If you're one of those scrappers who does not like their page being pulled out of the sleeve then I don't recommend you use all three flaps. If you do 1, you can slit the sleeve but all 3 would make the sleeve fall apart. "Celebrate" is a great theme that allows for such scope in your choice of photos. Book your spot now.
I've just been to collect some lovely new papers. I have a stunning array of the Fab Scraps papers and equally stunning Tracy Shimper papers. I have to say the local papers are just so great these days and I do like to support the local market. And weep no more: I have LOADS of our favourite Treasures Deep Brown back in stock. Honestly, I cannot LIVE without this colour.

Art from the Heart are running a Scrapbook Layout Competition: the challenge is to create an original double page layout using at least 3 AFTH papers and 1 AFTH embellishment sheet. The prize is an Art from the heart hamper as well as the opportunity to join the Scrapkits.co.za design team. See in store for entry forms (or to be grammatically correct in this case - "in studio".
I got a message from Scruffy. He was quite overwhelmed at the over 40 phone calls his foster mom received with offers to take him in. He asked me to convey his thanks and appreciation for all the offers of a loving new home. He tells me he's very happy in his new home and is showered with love and attention. So there we are: happy ending for Scruf.
Rikki on the other hand was devastated that there were no phone calls for her Power Vibe 250. So we're trying a new sales pitch:
"Hi, my name is Scruffy II Vibe 250 and my slack fat as#$@d lazy owner doesn't want me any more. I require no feeding, walking or love and affection. In return for a spot in your lounge/bedroom/garden shed I endevour to change the shape of your body.... yadda yadda." There. I admit it doesn't tug at the heart string in quite the same way Scruffy I did. Still, give Rikki a ring on 082 376 7210 if you're interested.
I went up to Gilletts today and to be honest, I thought I'd been tele-transported to the UK in November. Talk about chilly! Brrrr. Anyway, it beats that wind which was making me quite psychotic and seriously freaking me OUT!. I suppose next I'll be winging about the heat.... there's just no pleasing me....
To end, I Quote: Expecting life to treat you well because you're a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.
And on that thought provoking note, I wish you a happy week and many happy scrapping hours.
Alison

It Could Have Been Worse

2009-08-02T02:05:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are, three weeks after our home invasion and still kicking. Still grateful to be alive and unharmed. Although psycologically I feel OK, I sadly no longer see my home as my little safe sanctury in the chaos that surrounds us.
Nothing however has stopped the scrapping! I'm loving the Craft Ed products. As you know, I'm also a For Ever Memories (remember Creative Memories?) consultant and they have just launched a 12 x 12 circle cutter to compliment their existing cutting system. How fab is that! There is also a niftly 12 x 12 mat that goes with it.
I was going to take some pics to post onto my blog but sadly I'm no longer the proud owner of my fabulous Canon E450 camera. This now belongs to someone who probably paid tuppence for it. Keep an eye out - as soon as I have a new camera I'll pop a few pics on.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we're into August already.... another year where I'm not going to accomplish nearly HALF of what I set out to do....

Craft Ed

2009-06-21T02:04:00.000-07:00

I've just added the title of "Craft Ed Consultant" to my mantle. For those unfamiliar with this fast growing company, they sell:
- Stunning Paper Packs in various themes - pets, school, alphabet, travel etc. Papers work out at R1.55 a sheet! (I've had a bit of a skok at the price that some papers are coming in at lately so this is a welcome change). There are usually 3 coordinating papers and 3 of each so plenty to complete a double page spread with paper to spare.
- The amazing DCWV cardstock stacks in brights, neutrals, pastels and best of all: metallic and glitter. Most papers have a white inner core making them fabulous for sanding or distressing. They come in 12 x 12, 6 x 6 and the very handy 4.5 x 6.5.
- Then some really delightful scrapbook "kit in a stack" which is a selection of coordinating papers, stickers, large brads, saying stickers, quote stacks etc in various themes - the Blossoms & Butterflies is to die for!!
- The "just gotta have" Big Bite Crop-A-Dile
- Great tools like corner rounders, guillotines, metal rulers etc
- Herma adhesives
- The most glorious albums - I've been hunting around for a supplier of really great albums at a good price and I've now found it. They are a steal at R265.00 for an album and R70.00 for 25 refil sleeves.
- Powder Puff Ink Sets in really great colours.
- Cuttlebug Kids with a large selection of dies at an excellent price.
As the company grows, so does the range.
Do pop in and have a look-see. I dont think the catalogue does full justice to the product so will be ordering in loads of samples. And I think you'd be pleasantly suprised at the prices.
Until then, keep it tidy and happy scrapping!

Shock 'n Horror!

2009-05-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

I just cannot believe I've not done a post since 25th March! Where does the time go? Anyway, I'm trying to commit to taking this a bit more seriously.....
Here's a tip for nothing: (nothing new, but it's well worth the reminder) At the end of each workshop I've been encouraging the happy scrappers to there and then take their scraps and turn them into gift tags, noteletts, mini cards or larger cards if you've got lots of paper left over. It just makes so much sence as you're sitting there with all this lovely co-ordinated paper which you're going to go home and toss into the "scraps" box, never to see the light of day again. You'll be stunned and amazed at how many little cards and tags you accumulate over a very short space of time. And if like me you begrudge paying the price for cards in the shops these days, this is the answer.
Another reason for my lacklustre performance on the blog is that I've been exploring hybrid scrapbooking which intrigues me muchly. Hoping to master this some time soon (yeah, right) and share it all with you.
Hope you're enjoying this magnificent Durbs weather as much as I am!

Tersia's Take....

2009-03-25T22:38:00.001-07:00

This is Tersia's take on one of my workshops where she incorporated some paper piecing. I must say I've always felt a bit iffy about paper piecing but I do think used stylishly it can add a lovely dimension to the page. I really loved her little pirate!
I'm now madly crazily over the top in love with mosaic! It's all I want to do all day! But scrapping still tugs.....

Tersia's Take....

2009-03-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ahoy Matey!

2009-03-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

Dear oh dear!!

2009-03-12T01:25:00.000-07:00

What a nail biting, migraine inducing, sphincter pinching, jaw clenching, vomit inducing, tear flowing week!! My Motherboard crashed and I was kept in suspence for 8 days as to whether I'd lost my entire (unbacked!!) life. Seems as though some of the important stuff has been saved so even though I've lost loads, I've also got lots of saved stuff to be grateful for. Bitter lesson learned here - backup! backup! backup! Which is what I'll be doing most of next week when my computer is returned........
As you can imagine, scrapping is not uppermost in my mind. Hope to be back in the swing of it all in the next week or two.

Not Quite Right.....

2009-02-22T00:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, lookee here. I realise I have MUCH to learn when it comes to posting a page. Still, we learn by trial and error and at this stage I'm just chuffed as anything that I could even post the page. I think I'm going to have to employ the help of an expert on this one.... (I'm also bitterly disappointed at the quality of picture my brand new Canon takes so need to investigate that too).
Anyhows, this is one of my MIM pages. I did it of my sister and what fun it was to do. I gave her a list of questions and kept it quite light hearted: Favourite Book? Favourite Quote? Who Influenced You The Most? Who Would Play You In A Movie? Bucket List etc. I discovered that if you click on the picture it enlarges it and you can read all the journaling (if you feel so inclined). Please good people, judge the page kindly! It really does look better in the flesh!
This particular page came in a kit form with the paper, frames, chipboard letters, chipboard shapes etc.
OK - I'm off to find help with photographing my pages and posting them.....

2009-02-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

2009-02-22T00:17:00.000-08:00

Thought for the day.....

2009-02-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

Laugh your heart out
Dance in the rain
Cherish the moment
Ignore the pain
Live Laugh Love
Forgive and forget
Life's too short to be
Living with regrets

2009-02-08T00:24:00.000-08:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Oh dear Oh dear......

2009-02-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

I cant believe how long I haven't posted anything for! And I read recently that the a blog MUST be regualry updated in order for it to hold any interest. Well, I do actually have an excuse (yeah, right!).... I'm actually on a huge techno learning curve this year and spend MANY (as in FAR too many) hours playing around with all kinds of new discoveries. No excuse I know but I do feel like I'm making huge headway. I'm hoping to shortly post some of the fun stuff that's been going on here at Scrapbook Junction so watch this space...... (if there's anyone left watching).......

MIM

2009-01-10T07:03:00.000-08:00

What, you may well ask, is "MIM"?
Well ,those who've been scrapping with me for the past year will know that I've been going on a bit about journalling. I've had the feeling that we've kind of lost the plot a bit with scrapping. A lot of us (and I include myself here) have been churning out pages which, whilst really quiet lovely, don't really say much ergo, don't mean much. So many ladies say "I don't know what to say" when I tell them to slap a bit of journalling on the page. Now I don't know abou you, but I know VERY few women who don't know what to say!
This brings me to MIM - 2009 is the year where we "Make It Meaningful" (MIM - geddit?). Yep, the emphasis is going to be on pages that really tell the story, be it for an album for your children, your parents or just a record you're keeping for yourself of your fabulous life. Let's stop, take a breath and ask ourselves again what it is we're really trying to achieve with our (expensive!) scrapping. To me it's all about celebrating our lives, recording it and preserving our history.
So look out for some of my MIM ideas which admittedly will take some research, effort and dedication on your behalf but the end prodcut will be oh so worth it..... This of course does not mean that we're not going to be doing a few fun pages with great layouts and maybe just a line or two of story.
I wish you all everything good in 2009. I've still got loads to learn about blogging so please bear with me..... Still trying to figure out how you comment, how to post a picture etc

Comments.....

2008-12-23T09:19:00.001-08:00

I've had loads of people saying they want to comment on the blog but don't know how. Well neither do I. Give me a sec here to figure it out.......

Festive Greetings

2008-12-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

I'm trying really hard to be grateful for everything I have but I so wish I was having Christmas in the snow. I just love the whole atmosphere of it. Anyway, with all this carnage on our roads, my wish for you and your family is that you have a SAFE Chrsitmas. And a blessed one. Here's looking forwards to a really great 2009.

Baby steps.....

2008-12-18T21:23:00.001-08:00

I'm such a newby at this but give me a chance - I'll soon have it all figured out. Might take a while as I dont have a 9 year old on hand...... What a year 2008 has been. Talk about topsy turvy. First I closed Scrapbook Junction as a shop in February, build a studio at home, converted our house to a B&B and had one of those "0" birthdays! But NOTHING stood in the way of scrapping and we did so under some seriously chaotic circumstances. I have to say it's not easy being creative under those conditions but things are starting to settle down to a nice routine and I'm hoping 2009 is going to be a year of great creativity. I'm LUUUVING my new home studio and particularly working from home after six years in a shop (which I loved but a season for everything....)
I'm so excited about the blog as it's going to be such a great opportunity to stay in touch, share ideas and creativity and do that whole network thing that us gals do so well. Now let me see how to upload a pic.......

Comes the dawn....

2008-12-18T11:47:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited I could just PLUTZ! Yep, I've wanted to blog for ages (love that word but it does sound like something one should do in private) but what a year I've had..... no more for now until I see if this works.....